Househunting part 687

I came to the end today.

I no longer want to look at houses. I'm throwing in the towel, raising the white flag, and giving up.

The house Richard and I had talked about buying and fixing up - it needed lots of work, but had a nice lay out - officially sold today. Sigh.

So I hereby take my hat out of the ring.

Perhaps in a few years we'll be able to try again, but for now I'm done. The competition is way to fierce in our price range and we just don't have what it takes to compete.

I give up.

Website

Ok. I've been keeping it hush-hush for a while now, but I think it's time I let everyone have a peek at my new website.

I've been working on it for about a month now. I even managed to learn to speak a little HTML so I could code parts of it myself. Yay me!

It's not all there yet. But most of it is functional.

So...

... drumroll please ...

Here is my newly designed and improved website:

www.jacobysmith.ca

Pending assignments: 1
Houses looked at this week: 0

Rest - day two

This week is my week of rest. I had to turn down work to get it, too. Almost cried over that.

But here I am enjoying some well-desrved time off. A week to spend in reflection, relaxation and re-evaluation.

I have to admit it took until 11:30 of day two for me to get bored.

Maybe this is a good thing. I'm not sure. Truthfully, I don't know what to do. I rarely ever get bored.

...

So...

...

What does a person do when they're bored?

Well, I'm going to start with a bubble bath... or paint my toes... you know... girly things!

Winter blues

Here we are just a scrape into November and I'm already talking winter blues... That doesn't bode well, does it?

Winter hit hard here yesterday. One foot of snow all at once is not my idea of winter... more like Hades. Especially when it was preceded by a full day of the world being shellacked in ice.

In case anyone is wondering shovelling heavy wet sticky snow while dancing on an ice rink formed by the sidewalks definitely makes life more interesting or treacherous. At any rate, it's quite a workout!

I am happy to report, that aside from a few twinges, my badly sprained ankle from last year has performed very well despite all the ice. Of course, my entire front step is white... with salt. So maybe that helps, no?

Although the unprecedented precipitation (in both forms) has made driving in the city a take-life-in-your-hands kind of deal, it has drastically altered the shape of my weekend as well... leading to disappointment of mammoth proportions.

The kids will no longer be going to Wilkie. Today anyway.

I'm still holding out hope that some sanding crews and snowplow drivers will take pity on the stretch of highway between Biggar and Wilkie (which right now is one of the few roads labelled travel not recommended in the entire province - what's up with that?).

As sad as I am for myself who desperately needed a break from things - from everythings -there will be huge heartbreak when the kids come home. They were so looking forward to going to Grandma's.

Meanwhile, I'm checking out the price of flights to all places warm.

Sooner...

It was a short night for me. Dear son of mine was up at 3:30 sick. He's still sick and looking pale as a sheet. I've only dozed since that first early wake up call.

I do have a major article to finish this morning and my brain is fuzzy. God grant me the strength. I think I'm going to need a nap later just to make it through the day. I also work tonight at the centre from 5:30 to 9. Suddenly my mini-vacation seems so far away...

I could be all set for a pity party, if I really tried. I've got the streamers and everything.

Meanwhile, I purchased a Greg Sczebel CD last week and my two CDs from my friend Sandy Foster arrived on Thursday. So lots of great jazz music playing through my house these last few days.

Anyway, the words to one song by Greg Sczebel really hit me this morning for so many reasons. Possibly exhaustion being the main one.

So again, these are not my words, though I've prayed ones very similar a time or two...

Perhaps (not the entire song)

Have You ever hurt so bad before
You could not feel the floor beneath Your feet?
And have You ever cried so long
The tide swept You away like a song that was bittersweet?
Do You understand, do You think You can relate?
Maybe this reminds You of another time or place
Perhaps Gethsemane

I could have sworn, as I lay warm in my bed
I could hear Your heart break for me
And You did not hesitate to take this pain away
You throw Your arms around me like a robe
Hold me close to let me know I'm not alone anymore
And You tell it like it is, like it was yesterday
And I just can't believe my ears as I hear You say...

Do you think that I'd forget
The kiss of death that was left on My face?
Do you think I did not hear the people mock
The soldiers sneer on that day?
Do you think that I don't cry
When the very world for which I died
Just tries to wipe My name from history?
Child, it reminds Me of Gethsemane

Do you think that I'm immune
To the pain you put Me through
When you close your heart and walk away
And disregard the price I paid?
Do you think that I didn't cry all day?

You see you're not the only one
Who understands where you're coming from
I've been there all along.

Sleeps until vacation starts: 4!!
Pending assignments: 2
Houses looked at: 1
Listening to: Sandy Foster - Spruce It Up!

Soon

I need rest.

Soon.

I've been working far too hard. After a discussion with my counselor I was urged (she didn't quite give me marching orders! LOL!) to take some time off.

Soon.

I can't remember the last day off I had when I didn't have writing commitments to work on or responsibilities at the centre. My brain is suffering from fatigue.

I'm not exactly burned out yet, but I can see it from here.

So as a result I have booked myself a little holiday. I will be taking off the week of November 13 - 17.

Technically, due a very long weekend for my kiddos my week off starts next Friday. My kids go to Grandmas on Thursday night.

I've already made plans to go get my hair done on Friday and go shopping while Richard is at work. Then we have booked a hotel for a romantic escape - including dinner out at the Freehouse.

Our hotel is a package we won at a silent auction earlier this year and it included a Sunday brunch for two as well. Yippee!

I'm looking forward to this. The idea is to have nothing to do and to allow myself to get bored - oh the joys...!

My recent reading has included Robin McGraw's book Inside My Heart. One of her essential messages in the book spoke volumes to me. A mother that neglects herself is really neglecting her family. We moms need to take care of our needs or we won't be able to take care of the needs of our family.

So I'm taking care of myself. And I need a repreive.

In other news... we're looking at a couple of houses this weekend. Aren't you excited?

Pending assignments: 2 (only 2!)
Houses looked at this week: 0
Listening to: Sandy Foster's Marooned

Progress in Iraq

Here's a video you won't see on the National or CTV New tonight regarding the U.S. presence in Iraq.

Maybe we should ask them why...?

I heart my iPAQ

Have I mentioned recently (like oh say in the last five minutes) just how much I love my iPAQ?

Now I'm not too bright sometimes, so until Richard sinc-ed my Pocket PC with my computer the other night I didn't realize the machines learned from each other!

So if I enter in some appointment on my Pocket PC and then sinc it with my desktop, my desktop will then know about the appointment and remind me about it as well.

How cool is that?

What smart little machines. I love it!

So now my desktop computer is giving me the same reminders as my Pocket PC. Which could get tedious after a time, but on days when I'm at home (like today) it certainly keeps me on track.

Pending assignments: 4
Grooving to: Greg Sczebel (Here to Stay, You Got it, Satisfy)
Working on: Board meeting shtuff for tomorrow's board retreat

Techno-babble translator:
sinc: means putting the little Pocket PC into it's cradle that is plugged into my computer and then the computer and Pocket PC have a little conference about things. They swap notes and dates and pat each other on the bum!

Surrender

Lord I don't know where all this is going
Or how it all works out.
Lead me to peace that past understanding
Peace beyond all doubt.

--Newsboys, Lord I don't know, from the album Thrive

Surrender has such a negative meaning in our society. We associate it with capitulation or giving up. Sometimes we even think of cowardice.

I'm not sure surrender as a military strategy would make one very successful as a military commander, but I do think there is a need for surrender in our faith walks.

We don't know what lies ahead. Often we are faced with situations that never work. The answers, the solution, the remedy are left just out of our reach.

Sometimes, maybe even a lot of times, I don't know where I'm going. I stumble through my days, mindful of the questions buzzing around my brain. Sometimes my days are a haze of pain as I wander through my tasks, burdened by situations or conflicts I can not fix.

Surrender.

To me surrender means being able to walk the path anyway. Not demanding God do everything exactly as we want it. Not looking to him like some Cosmis Santa or Universal Waiter. God is not a lapdop to do our bidding as we see fit. That would put us on the throne. Not Him.

If He is on the throne then that means accepting those painful, unfun times. Submitting our will to His and allowing His plan to play out.

Wow. It's hard sometimes.

Happy week!

After a particularly trying and difficult time with my writing over the last year, I'm enjoying a very busy time right now. Busy and fulfilling, I would say.

In fact, I've had two editors contact me with assignments out of the blue this week. Editors I'd never worked with before. Top that off with other editors who have expressed a desire to work with me on a regular basis. This to a writer is the definition success - however fleeting it may turn out to be.

To make my week extra fabulous I had a client actually say to me today ...

and I quote...

"You are the writer I've been looking for for a very long time."

...

Wow.

...

Let's just file that away in big bold letters, shall we?

Pending assignments: 4 (possibly 5)
Pending queries: 3 (one is a tentative go if certain conditions are met)
Listening to: pre-release copy of Patricia Conroy's latest

Sick

I've been sick this week.

Bladder infection.

I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

To complicate matters, treating infections with me is quite an ordeal. There's so much that so many take for granted. You have a bladder infection. You go see your doctor. He gives you a prescription for some pills. You take the pills. In short order you feel better.

Not so in my little world.

No way. I have to be lots more complicated.

I am allergic to a couple of antibiotics. Correction: I was allergic to two. That was before a very kind, sympathetic doctor prescribed me cipro. Unfortunately, the drug made me break out in a rash.

Soooo... I called the doctor and he told to me quit taking the drugs. Which it wasn't like I was real eager to continue taking the stupid things.

As a result I have fought out the infection with lots of cranberry juice and water. I did spend one whole days resting, as well.

While I don't feel fabulous I do feel a smidge closer to normal.

Ha! Whatever normal is...

Techno-gizmos!

Zowee!

I've been bitten by the pocket PC bug. You know those annoying people who have to put everything into an electronic device they carry with them everywhere. And then if you get too boring at conversation, they play solitaire while you visit?

Yeah.

That's me! Well, maybe not the solitaire part.

It's a very long story... DH and I bought a cheap Cassio version back in the summer. I was just looking for a good basic unit. I didn't want anything fancy. I wasn't sure I would like it or even use it. Heaven only knows how many daytimers I went through in my life - trying to find something that worked. Or that I used.

Well, I was hooked. It kept everything I needed all in one spot. I can even put grocery lists in there!

The little chime that reminds me to do things or about upcoming events is priceless! It's a Godsend for those like me who get distracted easily. (I'm not forgetful, honest. I just have a lot to keep track of and once in a while my brain loses track of something!)

But...

About a year ago, DH had a brand new unit given to him by someone at his work. The person was not a techie and had dropped the unit - destroying the screen. The unit worked perfectly fine, just with a rather large black space on the screen. This person didn't care if it could be fixed, he just went out and bought a new one.

DH has looked for a way to replace the screen. Finally, he told his brother to just look on ebay for the same model. Price limit was $50 though.

Well, fast-forward to this weekend - when zowee! I have my new iPaq. It's not new new. It's just new to me. It's barely been used and would only be about a year or two old.

I love it. It's quite a bit bigger than my Cassio, but that's ok. It has tons more features. I've played with it a bit and I'm hooked. I don't know how I would ever manage without it. I've got dates, meetings, article deadlines, interviews, schedules, birthdays, task lists, contact lists, and Blue Tooth compatibility.

I'm not sure what that means precisely, but I'm sure it's techno-speak for really cool!

Pending assignments: 3
Houses looked at: one possibly later today, we hope! Say a prayer or two or ten...
Coolest lyrics heard this week: My best laid plans are in my other pants - Newsboys, Live in Stereo

Woohoo!

Rider's defeated the Al's in the dying seconds of the game last night in Regina! Woohoo!

A play off spot is so close I can smell it. We need one more win or an Edmonton loss in the final two games of regular season play.

Go Green!

Horrible week and joys!

I have a bad habit - I say yes too often, when I should say no.

It's partly due to the feast-famine ebb and flow that is the nature of freelance writing. One week you're running at mach-2 with your hair on fire. Then for two weeks (or heaven forbid months!) you write nothing.

So in a way, I say yes as a rule, just so I can pay the bills. I bite off more than I can chew and then I chew it.

This week I said yes to two deadlines. That was fine, I've juggled such things before.

Then I said yes to an interview/meeting with an interview subject and one of my editors.

That pushed things up a notch, but it was still do-able. I am, after all, super woman right?

Ha!

Then my ISP (internet service provider) went completely wonky yesterday. THEIR email server went down in the morning. But when I came home after work in the afternoon, I couldn't access the internet at all!

An hour later... the ISP help-desk boy has concluded in under 30 seconds that the problem lies in MY router. I disagree, but go through the motions of testing out the theory.

As an aside: behind my desk is extremely dusty! Someone should vacuum back there!

Anyway, turns out ISP help desk boy is right. Router got messed up. I'm still completely convinced it has to do with their work on THEIR server. But I'm sure the help desk boys at said ISP will remain unconvinced.

Computer problems put my work behind in a week when nothing could afford to go wrong.

As a result, I had to email one editor and ask for an extension and miss the interview/meeting. I handed in one project that I felt was crap.

I somehow managed to get the second article done today before supper.

At church I got to pray with two amazing ladies - Heather and Barb. It was such an amazing time and it made me feel as though all the crap that had happened was just a blip. It was the highlight of my day. I came out of it thankful for the faith and compassion from these two ladies. I felt uplifted in a week that had seemed to weigh me down with each passing second.

I came home to a voicemail that I had waited for all day - feedback on "crappy" article that I had submited.

Well, apparently, my boss didn't think it was crappy. In fact, he liked it so much he's wondering if I could do some more writing for him! Yay! Woohoo!

In addition, today I found out that my application for professional membership in The Word Guild was approved! Yay! You can read more about this group of Canadian Christian writers and editors here.

It's been a rough week, but today has ended well. I'm so thankful to God for all He has done.

Assignments pending: 2
Rejections (aka queries) pending: 3
Houses looked at this week: 0

Turkey and football

Thanksgiving Monday and that means football and turkey at my house.

But who knew there would be so many turkey's on the football field in Montreal? What was that about? Did they forget the team in Regina? Wow. Riders got creamed 35 to 8.

My house smells divine right now as I just finished baking my world famous ginger cake with raspberry-pear sauce! In about 45 minutes or so we head to a friend's house for a big ole turkey dinner - our second in two days! I'm bringing said cake and sauce. I was requested to bring it, actually. I suspect, my family and I are just incidental to the cake and sauce.

We just got back from my mom's in time for me to make my cake and now I'm sitting here with my feet up relaxing and vegging to some a wonderful Steve Bell CD.

All of my mom's extended family gathered for a big meal last night. Roughly 50 people or so. My mom made two turkeys with stuffing. Someone brought two trays of cabbage rolls. We thought we had too much food and then my cousin, who's a chef by trade, showed up with two hams and a stuffed salmon! Yum.

It was so nice to see so many of my cousins and their children. Hard to believe, but several of my cousins have children old enough to be married and have children of their own soon! Gasp! I'm the second youngest grandchild, so everyone is much older than I am! Tee hee...

Several of my cousins have been keeping tabs on the articles I write for The StarPhoenix. They are so proud of me.

As a writer everything is produced at my little computer screen here and I send it off into the Netherworld of the internet to my editors. And then it gets magically printed. For some reason it's always a shock to realize that people out there actually read it! Oh well, it's a happy shock.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Thank God Almighty

Happy Thanksgiving!

I was going to say Happy Turkey Day, but then I read this.

If the good leaders of our country saw fit in 1957 to create a national holiday to "thank God Almighty" I'm not going to secularize it.

Yessiree folks, you read that right! With all the bang and clatter about the separation of church and state nowadays, just a generation ago our country enshrined a national holiday that acknowledged God Almighty! Makes me wanna smile and all that. Almost think the country was run by a bunch of redknecks back then, wouldn't ya? Huh. Maybe they were on to something...

So in tribute and acknowledgement of God Almighty, and the NON-secular holiday Monday here in Canada, here's what I'm thankful for:

• God - That He is who He is. No matter what happens on this glob of space dust.
• Canada - While my country may have lost her way in recent years and become a den of liberalism and secularism, I have hope that she may once again take her place on the world stage as a leader. Further, I am grateful for the generous freedoms I enjoy here in North America. The more I get to know about the rest of the world, the more I thank God that I live right here. I am so incredibly grateful for the Judeo-Christian traditions that founded this great nation and have ensured our security and success until present day.
• My Family - Yesterday was a trying day in my little world, but I'm grateful for my husband and two kids. They truly are precious. Today we are off to my mom's to see my aunts, uncles, cousins and the like, and my 93-year old Grandma. Who could teach us all a thing or two about living life to the fullest. God bless Grandma Jacoby.
• My Church - I am grateful for our church home and the love we have found there. I am so grateful for the blessing of our pastor who is always a source of inspiration and encouragement.
• New Life - Not only am I thankful for the safe arrival of Linaya Grace (see previous post), but also for the freedom to embrace a new life every single day - God's grace is new each day. We just have to walk in it.
• New writing opportunities - They keep popping up from everywhere. And it's not because I'm all that special.
• So thank you to God Almighty - the Creator, the Founder, the Author, the Lover, the Lamb, the Truth. May His name be praised today and always from sea to shining sea.

Listening to: Building 429

Pending rejections: 3

Pending assignments: 4

Babywatch

On Sunday our baby-expecting friends phoned to ask us, "Do you have a house yet?"

After rolling his eyes, Richard replied, "Do you have a baby yet?"

He went on to explain that we are just as sick of people asking us if we have a house, as they are of people asking them about the baby (she was due to deliver last Friday).

Our friend then asked, "So if we have our baby, then you'll get a house?"

"Yup," answered Richard. Of course, we all laughed about it.

Last night our friend went into labour about supper time.

Babywatch began in earnest.

As of 1:30 p.m. this afternoon - no baby.

And no house either, for those wanting to ask! Although, I'm going through a house this afternoon with our agent... so you never know...

Pending rejections: 2
Pending assignments: 3
Interviews so far this week: 1
Interviews yet to do: 3

UPDATE: The place was a complete dump. It needed so much work, I don’t know where a person would begin. The whole upstairs would have to be gutted just to get a dining room and decent kitchen out of the whole thing. Although, it was 1222 square feet, it was just set up stupid. It was dirty, too. I mean a good wall-scrubbing and a coat of paint would be considered an upgrade. What a mess!

Still no baby...

UPPERDATE: The second place was actually quite nice on the upper level. The basement, though, was like a cave with tunnels. I had a hard time not becoming claustrophobic while there. The ceilings were quite low. The downstairs would have to be completely gutted. Richard's feedback: Not quite. Jennifer's feedback: Absolutely not!

Still no baby...

UPPESTDATE: Baby is here! A baby girl! Six pounds and some odd ounces. (Am I the ONLY petite gal in the world to have eight pound babies?)

Rosie's at it again

I'm not sure how long it's going to take ABC to shut down the View, but if they don't do it quick Rosie stands a good chance of alienating their entire audience.

First, it was equating radical Christianity to radical Islam (such as the attacks of 9/11).

Then she went on air to tell Oprah she might be a "little bit gay". Like who cares? Who cares if Oprah is gay, why does she need a big mouthed lesbian on another program to "out" her? Further, Oprah has denied this repeatedly. And she's getting ticked. Because those that keep asking her about it are insinuating that she's lying. I'd be ticked too!

Today, she smeared the Pope. Catholic League news release is here.

Basically, Rosie (citing as a source an upcoming movie of all things) said that the current Pope was in charge of investigating claims of sexual abuse by priests in the Catholic church "from the eighties until just recently".

This is only half-true. The current Pope was put in charge of investigating the scandal by Pope John Paul II in 2002. The reason was because Cardinal Ratzinger was known as a no-nonsense sort of dude. Perfect guy to put in charge of clean up if you ask me.

What in the world the panel was doing discussing this topic at all is beyond me, but whatever.

Who's next? She hasn't opened her big mouth about the Jews yet. Or is that scheduled for next week?

Rosie hasn't a shred of journalistic integrity and if ABC doesn't pull the plug soon the only people watching will be their studio hands.

Off to write another angry email...

Don't panic

I switched blog templates. The pink was getting to me.

Hope you like the new look.

Wild ending

As hard as it was to visualize while listening to streaming audio online, the Roughrider game came to a wild ending tonight. A game of rugby broke out on the field after Rocky Butler fumbled the ball.

Unfortunately, Team Green didn't come off the field with a win, but at least it was a well-played game. And as far as I'm concerned, that last play definitely gave the fan's their money's worth.

We're set to meet Montreal on Thanksgiving Monday next. Hopefully by then Kerry Joseph (who was sidelined with a knee injury in the third quarter, I believe) will be back on his feet. Then again, Rocky can serve up a good dish of the mean-green machine too. The season isn't over yet!

So thanks, boys, for a fantastic game. Get 'em next time!

Disappointment

Again.

The job I applied for has gone to someone else.

Again.

Disappointment is a bitter pill.

The good news is, they really wanted to hire me. Hmm... sounds familiar. Didn't a local daily newspaper really want to hire me? But really wanting to hire me isn't the same as actually hiring me. At least they said they would keep me in mind for future positions.

So once again, I turn to my writing to help make ends meet. Unfortunately, this one thing I just can not seem to get off the ground. I know that I write more than some, but I'm no where near as busy as I would like to be. And my income targets have never been met. Other writers that have been writing as long as I have make four times as much as I do a month from writing.

I am prompted to ask: What am I doing wrong?

In a way, I guess this is disappointment on so many levels - in so many areas. Perhaps that is what makes it so keen.

My prayer is that God will make it clear what he'd like my prayer to be. Because none of the ones I've been praying have been working, I've noticed.

Pending assignments: 1
Queries pending: 1
Houses looked at: None!

Currently reading: Boundaries with Kids, You Can't Make Me, (but I can be persuaded) AND The Frazzled Factor.

We won!

Riders won a nail-biter in Regina tonight. In the second overtime, Kerry Joseph connected with Fantuz. Talk about pulling it out of a hat!

Several pricelss moments from the game...

Joseph's fumble on the three yard line as he went in for a touchdown... the ball trickled into the end zone to be recovered by Saskatchewan - TOUCHDOWN GREEN!

Wally Buono decides to kick it through the end zone on B.C.'s first possession in overtime, but the kick doesn't make it, setting up the second over time. Nice gamble, Wally.

The Lions ran into a wall of green on a 3rd and inches and turned it over on downs. A few plays later Saskatchewan netted three yards with a quarterback sneak. That's how it's done, boys!

Way to go, Riders! GO GREEN!

Proud to be Canadian

I truly am a patriot.

I think Canada is the best place on the planet to call home. I'm actually one of those crazy saps who gets choked up at the national athem given the right circumstances. I'm so patriotic, there are days when I think I should have been American. (Actually, I'm half-Amercian, but that's a story for another day...)

And seeing our boys in military fatigues gets me teary every time. I'm so darn proud that there are men and women who love their country so much they would be willing to make the ultimate sacrifice in her defense. Not only in defense of this country, but to defend democracy and freedom around the world, as well.

That's why this video of a rally on Parliament Hill today has got me all choked up.

Some military wives from Ontario decided to start a wear red campaign to support our troops in Afghanistan. They are encouraging people across the country to wear red on Fridays to show support for our troops and their current mission. To encourage them, that we are not going to abandon them.

To say thank you.
To say we're proud of you.
To say we're proud of the job you're doing in Afghanistan (and a damn fine job they're doing, too!)
To say God bless you and may he bring you home safe.

As a result, I've changed into a red shirt.

House hunting part 97

4:25 p.m. Realtor sent email with a brand new listing in River Heights.

4:30 p.m. I phoned Richard to tell him about it.

4:45 p.m. I have called the realtor to say yes we're interested, heard back from her that we are to meet her there at 8 p.m. and called Richard back to tell him the time.

5:50 p.m. I called one babysitter, but she's busy.

6:00 p.m. I called different babysitter. She's available. ; )

6:02 p.m. I leave for work because we have a volunteer open house tonight.

6:35 p.m. I arrive at work and pick up seven voice mails from just this afternoon.

7:40 p.m. The phone rang at the centre and I spent 10 minutes on the phone with potential client.

7:50 p.m. Richard and I raced up Warman Road to get to the house.

8:05 p.m. Really like the house.

8:25 p.m. Look around some more. Love the yard.

8:50 p.m. Raced to realtor's office to put together offer.

9:02 p.m. Faxed offer.

9:02 and 45 seconds p.m. Selling agent called. There is another offer on the table. Do we want to sweeten our deal.

9:12 p.m. New offer is faxed with about six extra pounds of sugar. ; )

9:20 p.m. Leave realtor's office feeling positive about this potential transaction. It's a beautiful location, on a crescent, gorgeous yard, beautiful open lay out inside.

We waited and waited...

I had a bath and shaved my legs...

Still we waited...

11:51 p.m. Realtor called to tell us they have gone with a different offer. (The particulars were pretty much the same. There wasn't much more we could offer them.)

11:52 p.m. Too tired for words...

As disappointing as it is, we're hopeful something CAN be found out there.

Sigh...

Rainy day musings

It is with bleary eyes and drooping chin that I drag my sorry butt to the keyboard... (good thing I said drooping and not drooling!)

Okay, it's not quite that bad, but I am getting a little too old for the 1 a.m. writing sessions, followed by 6 a.m. writing sessions.

It's a good thing my coworker is so organized at work, or I could have made a real mess of things while there this morning. She was kind enough to bring me hot apple cider, too! What a sweetie!

Still no response from ABC to my rant last week, but I am encouraged to learn there has been a significant public outcry in the States to Rosie's comments. Good on them! Though I doubt it will do much good.

I am disheartened, though, because I doubt there would be a similar outcry here in Canada over this CBC program. This is from the same broadcasting corporation who's chairman resigned yesterday after making some controversial statements about the Lebanese and beastiality and also for waxing poetic on the pleasures of bowel movements. Story here.

Kind of throws a proverbial wet-blanket over the organization's intellectual credibility, but then that's just me.

I had thought of writing the ombudsman to complain, but I doubt it would do any good. And where does a person begin? It would be like picking a single grain of sand in a desert to complain it is mishapen. Besides I would have to admit to watch the CBC on occasion.

To any who wish to voice their opinions feel free. Here is the email addy:
COMPLAIN
The Ombudsman, CBC English Services
Canadian Broadcasting Corporation
P.O. Box 500, Station “A”
Toronto, Ontario M5W 1E6
e-mail: ombudsman@cbc.ca

I'd also be curious if anyone actually watches it. Let me know what you think of it. Just don't go out of your way to do so. After all, I think watching the CBC may actually make you dumber. The former chairman could to be a case in point.

The whole mess reminds me of something one of my theology professors once said:

The only constant in the world is man's unfailing ability fo find new levels of depravity.

Houses looked at so far this week: 1 It was icky and way overpriced!
Pending assignments: 1
Listening to: absolutely nothing, don't want to confuse my weary brain with sounds

UPDATE: My apologies. I should have been more clear. I'll blame it on sleep-deprivation. The CBC program last night was an in-depth look at the dangers of faith - and it targeted all faiths. It basically said that all faith (in Allah, Buddha, God, whatever) is the enemy of free-thinking and modern civilization. It equated radical Christians in North America with the suicide bombers of extremist Islam.

Am I crazy?

I had two interviews today. One a Ukrainian Catholic priest (article in Saturday's religion section of The SP). And the other for a new job.

No, I don't intend to quit my work at the centre.

And, no, I don't intend to quit writing. That's like trying to quit breathing. Tried that and it makes me dizzy...

So, I ask you... Am I crazy?

The position is mainly administrative and entails work I could do from home around my (increasingly nutty) schedule.

I don't want to cut in on my writing time, but I felt I needed to supplement my income from writing. In a way, it'll probably help me get more accomplished as the busier I am the more I tend to be able to handle and accomplish.

So, as I ponder my schedule for the fall, I again ask... Am I crazy for wanting to make myself this busy?

Then again, we are looking at adding buying a house...

Ok. I'm alright. I may be crazy, but I know I'm in good company! ; )
--
Listening to: Newsboys - Thrive
Queries submitted: 1
Assignments pending: 1
Houses looked at this week: not a blessed one! Whew!

Anniversaries

September is a big month for me personally. First, the kids go back to school and that's always a blessing.

This year the beginning of September marked eight years since Richard and I moved to Saskatoon. We came with barely any earthly possessions. Richard spent the first two years going to school to become a computer tech.

There were times that we didn't think we'd make it - living on a small student loan with a toddler on the go. I remember rolling our spare change so we could put gas in our car or buy diapers.

We've come a long way since then. God blessed Richard with an amazing job (twice - because he left it for nine months to take a different position which he ended up hating). Richard has accomplished so much at this job and I'm so proud of him.

God blessed us with another little one, as well. Mikaela is such a joy to our hearts.

God blessed me with another September anniversary. This month I can celebrate six years as a freelance writer. I'll never forget dancing around our little apartment when I received that first contract to publish a parenting essay I wrote.

I may not have accomplished all that I have wanted to in my writing career, but God has blessed me. I've had some amazing experiences, interviewed some amazing people and established myself as a regular contributor for several publications. Not bad for the girl with no formal training in journalism or writing.

God has also blessed us with an amazing circle of friends and coworkers, not to mention the joy of being a part of a vibrant church family. We've grown so much - spiritually and emotionally - since coming to Saskatoon.

It was definitely the best move we made. We have been truly blessed.

Pending assignments: 0
Houses looked at this week: 7

The View

I don't watch ABC's The View very often. I used to enjoy the banter on current issues when they first started. But eventually, my schedule and the lack of a charismatic host meant I don't watch it much.

However, it came to my attention that on a recent episode Rosie O'Donnell made some outrageous statements. I understand her position. As a member of the gay and lesian community, O'Donnell feels the church in general would condemn her. Ok. I get it. She's not impressed with us.

As she discussed the recent anniversary of 9/11 and the subsequent war on terror, she made this comment as she duked it out with co-host Elisabeth Hasselback.

"Radical Christianity is just as dangerous as radical Islam."

Wow.

I don't even know if I can find words. (You know I can... I wouldn't have written a blog post about it if I could, but it's for the effect...)

Wow. Wow. Wow. WOW!

The truly amazing thing was the audience APPLAUDED.

Wow.

I sat down and wrote the producer of The View the following email:

It came to my attention today that The View Host Rosie O'Donnell made some outrageous comments on your show. While I missed the actual program I have seen a clip of the offending remarks. "Radical Christianity is just as dangerous as radical Islam," she said.

I am horrified by this statement. Worse than horrified I am outraged. This statement is absolutely completely and totally irresponsible and insane. Not to mention completely inaccurate.

On the heels of 9/11 - the greatest single purposeful act of evil committed by man against his fellow man - she dares to compare conservative Christians with the type of insanity that would see passenger jets flown into buildings to maim, kill and terrify thousands (not to mention millions) of people?

If this is the type of commentary that The View is now planning to offer, you can be assured I will never watch your program again. I am offended that Rosie would speak such absolute nonsense without qualification, proof or any shred of evidence to support her outrageous opinion.

Reasonable debate in a society that enshrines free-speech is expected on The View. This is hatred disguised as liberal rhetoric. It's completely irresponsible for you to allow her statements like this to go unchallenged.

As a Christian I can assure Ms. O'Donnell that I know of no conservative Christian who vows to kill as many non-Christians as possible, as much of the rhetoric coming from Islamic clerics often does.

Her statements are ludicrious. I'm not saying she isn't entitled to her opinion, but I am saying that if you want your program to be taken seriously, such ridiculous statements should never make it to air. Are you a news/commentary program or a pulpit for O'Donnell's misguided beliefs?

If she had said the same about "radical buddhism" would the statements have been aired without apology?

Christianity is afforded the same protections as other religions, whether or not Ms. O'Donnell agrees with their belief system.

Please tell me an apology is forthcoming.

I'll let you know if this gets a reply.

Five years on...

The blogworld is abuzz with 9/11 memorials. Thought I would add mine to the mix...

September 11, 2001, started earlier than usual for me. Logan had awakened shortly after 7 a.m. I had little desire to be awake at that time, so I bundled him in a blanket and planted him in front of CBC Kids. I thought an hour or so of their morning programming would keep him occupied as he was still kind of sleepy. Mikaela (just over a year old) slept in the living room in her playpen and she woke up a few minutes later.

As I snoozed fitfully in the bedroom, something slowly started to seep through the fog. The deep voice of a middle-aged man was droning on the T.V. It wasn't Dragon Tales or Sesame Street.

I wasn't concerned. I thought the kids must have inadvertantly changed the channel to CNN or something. I stumbled into the livingroom... into what I can only describe as full-blown chaos.

A building was falling on the T.V. and a sombre Peter Mansbridge was explaining this was only one traumatic event in a morning of traumatic events.

I couldn't figure it out. Was it movie footage? A disaster movie in NYC? But those ridiculous ideas were quickly disgarded. Whatever had happened it was huge. And it was bad. Very bad.

I screamed for Richard, who was home sick from work (another tale for another time), who managed to drag himself to the livingroom long enough for us to gather that some sort of terrorist attack had taken place in New York.

I still couldn't fathom what would make the BOTH World Trade Centre Towers fall, but something else was niggling at the back of my head... both of my kids had been watching the news coverage alone for who knows how long.

(A week later a picture of the Twin Towers in church caused Logan to lean over with a look of concern and ask, "Are the buildings going to fall down again, Mommy?")

I quickly popped Blue's Clues into the VCR and Richard hobbled back to bed.

I logged onto my computer and phoned my mom. All she said was, "I know." Just the day before she and I had discussed when she was getting their satellite channels turned back on. Needless to say she had already phoned the satellite TV company. Stuff was happening in the world and she couldn't see it!

CNN.com and every other news site in the Western World was down or severely disfunctional for most of the day. I eventually started getting my news updates from the BBC News website.

When I logged onto a writing group's bulletin board the first message I saw said: Holy Freaking Crap!!!! That pretty much summed it up.

I remember going into the bedroom and telling Richard that they still thought there was a hijacked plane in the air, but they didn't know where it was or where it was headed. I remember being struck by how odd that statement was. Who could have dreamed of ever uttering such words? I added, "The worst part is that's not the worst thing that's happened today."

Images of the thousands of posters of the missing are still etched in my mind. And you know for every one poster that was hung, there was one mother, father, brother, sister, or child waiting anxiously (and often in vain) for the return of their beloved.

The massive crowd of people walking out of Manhattan in absolute silence isn't something I'll ever forget.

Or the image of thousands of office workers covered in building dust with trails of tears through the coating on their faces.

There was the picture of a fire station in Belgium that shined their trucks until they glowed for the memorial service a week later. They spiffed up their uniforms and then drove their trucks just outside the station and stood in front of them at attention. It was their show of solidarity for their fellow firemen who gave their lives in the attacks.

That image stills brings a lump to my throat. They didn't know these people they were honouring. They might not have spoken the same language. I'm betting not many had even stepped foot on American soil. But they didn't care. They still wanted to honour the sacrifice these brave men made in an effort to rescue people like you and me.

It was a sign of solidarity, that connection of being bonded with your fellow earth travellers, that made me smile - even through the tears.

Another image I'm sure everyone remembers... the quiet skies. For days there were no vapor trails in our prairie sky. There were no planes rumbling over the city on take off or coming in for a landing. I never noticed how often they do that, but I do remember noting how odd it sounded when they weren't doing it anymore. To this day, I don't look at passenger jets the same way as it slices a graceful arc over the city.

I wonder if the people of NYC still cringe when they hear one.

I also remember the shame. International shame. I watched with horror as my fellow Canadians dared to utter the most absurd and insulting words: they had it coming. How could my copatriots be so unfeeling, so insensitive? And when Jean Chretien refused to allow a Christian minister to pray at the Parliament Hill memorial service for the WTC, I remember thinking Canada was walking around with toilet paper stuck to its shoe on the international stage. We just didn't know it.

Maybe we still don't know it. In my mind, my national pride slipped a bit after the 9/11 tragedy. Perhaps mostly because Canada never had to examine itself as a nation. Instead, we pompously took ourselves out of the equation. We never asked ourselves those hard questions. It was too easy to point fingers and place blame. It was happening to the other guy. So instead of doing some healthy self-examination, we got to wash our hands of the incident - perfectly smug in our belief that it couldn't happen to us.

I don't believe that. Canada has too much in common with our neighbour to the south for the terrorists to tell the difference. Well, except when it comes to getting a passport (something of a joke internationally).

Anyway, those are my thoughts from that day. The taste of shock in my mouth is still there. The numb confusion as I try to make sense of the incomprehensible. It's all still there. Just a little quieter. A little less vivid.

So probably Monday night, I will sit and raise a glass in memory of those who lost their lives five years ago tomorrow. Those who started their work day on a typical Tuesday morning, but never got to finish it.

Dental Adventures Part Three

Well, we did it. The final installment of our dental adventures was completed this morning. Logan decided to take the sedative again, but I'm not convinced he needed it. He was pretty calm about the whole thing to begin with.

And I have to say, the staff at Lawson Dental were so great with Logan. Thank you to them for being so professional and caring with him. I know their quick, efficient work made the whole experience a lot easier on my little buddy.

So yay! Dentist visits are finished for another six months - except for Richard, who has to go back later this month for a single filling.

But I doubt he'll need me to hold his hand or anything!

Pending queries: 2 (aka rejections-in-waiting)
Pending assignments/deadlines: 1

They did it again

Holy repeat batman! It's three in a row!

The Saskatchewan Roughriders wholloped the Bombers but good in the annual Labour Day classic.

Woohoo! Go Green!

Dental Adventures or Wonder of Wonders

Today, Logan chugged down two medications with little complaint. We herded him into the car (him weaving and staggering) and drove off to the dentist for the fillings that were to have occurred on Tuesday.

Logan, steadied by his dad bravely went forward to meet with his fate at the hands of Dr. Taylor (also a close friend).

I sat nervously in the waiting room... waiting. (Probably why they call it a waiting room!)

After an agonizing 30 minutes I ventured into back to see how things were going. I was pleasantly surprised to discover they were almost completed BOTH fillings, with nary an incident.

I was (and still am) in shock. My little buddy was so brave through the whole thing. Not to mention relaxed. I think I like this medicine... Could he be on it all the time? He was so agreeable!

Logan said he was such a pro at this now, he could probably do the next two fillings without the sedative.

We all chuckled.

We'll see how he feels when the freezing wears off. ; )

Back to sanity!

The kids left today for school. They will only be there an hour today, but I noticed something in the house after they left. And it was quite remarkable.

In their absence I have found... peace and quiet.

So much of it, in fact, there's enough here for me to fashion together some semblence of sanity again. And this year my precious twosome will be gone all day, every day. That means other than when I work, there will be this much peace and quiet every single day!

I feel like a human being again.

Tomorrow, as I launch them on the bus for their first full day of grade one and grade four, I think I'll skipping down the street back home.

Yup. It's the most wonderful time of the year!

Houses Smouses...

We looked at three houses today.

Two were in Martensville. One was an absolute no - the hair dressing spot in the basement requires a bit of renovations to get the space workable again.

The other was nothing special. I liked the layout, hated the cupboards. Hole in floor of livingroom was unusual. It just needed a bit of work.

The third was on the far outer rim on houses on the Westside - in a quaint little area called Montgomery. The area is (normally) highly desirable, unless you're in the outer rim. A trailer park was across the street. While the house was ok, it wasn't spectacular and just not quite what we were looking for.

So the hunt is still on... We have one more house in Martensville to look at tomorrow. Stay tuned...

The non-dental dental visit

My dear son went to the dentist today for his first filling. This is part one of a two part series. He has another appointment on Friday for the final two fillings.

I had visions of this being a horrific disaster. Public humiliation is something he can be very good at. And it's been a few years since I have experienced it. Further, there are sharp, medical instruments within easy reach.

But Logan seemed pretty non-plussed by the whole affair, so I thought... hey, this might actually be ok.

So we get there and Logan sits in the big chair. Mikaela and I are but an arms-length away. The dental assistant starts explaining what they are going to do. You know the shpeil, the needle is going to feel like a mosquito bite, etc.

I brace myself. If we can get through this part, we should be ok, I tell myself.

The doctor comes in and preps.

I hold my little buddy's hand and start praying.

Nothing.

I open my eyes to see if he's ok and he's doing fine. The doctor and the assistant give him lots of encouragement and then announce they're all done. I'm like great. No problem.

But a little twinge of anxiety ripples through me when she says, "Now for the next one."

Right. He's having two fillings done. Ok. Here we go again.

He grips my hand a little tighter this time and I whisper a prayer that we can get through another one. I talk to Logan a little more about how brave he is and how well he's doing.

He squirms a bit, but gets through the second needle without incident.

Ha! I thought to myself. All my days of worry and sleepless night had been for no reason at all. Everything will be fine.

Yeah. By now, you realize this is not the end of the story.

Nope. They start talking rain coats and buttons and rings and fillings. I looked at my son's face.

Uh-oh...

In the space of a few short moments I realize the appointment is over. I try desperately to calm him down, but no good. It's like he doesn't hear me. I try calling my mom on my cell phone, in hopes that she can calm him down. He's crying and begging and begging to go home.

While I'm sure I looked calm enough, I can tell you I was in full on panic. You see, I saw the look, I heard the urgency in his voice. He either had to calm down or get out of the situation. Fast! Like now! Or we were all in big trouble.

But my mom is out of the house, so no help.

We talk to the doctor and it is agreed that we would give it one more chance at his second appointment on Friday. This time with a sedative. If that doesn't work, he'll be referred to the hospital dental and they'll have to put him under to do the fillings.

Yikes.

So my hyper-sensitive child is going to have to chug down two medicines on Friday. One tastes like mint, the other... not so much.

I'm thinking this should be fun. I'm hoping the medicine is clear, because I have this vague feeling I'm going to be wearing it. I hope it doesn't stain.

I'm thinking in the end I might need the sedation.

The hunt is on...

Back to house-hunting...

Richard and I have found few more houses we hope to take a look at. One of them is what one might call Richard's dream home. It's a cute little two-story Victorian number complete with veranda.

In Martensville.

Martensville.

That's like outside the city, right?

I'm not overly keen, but the house is adorable. We shall see what transpires. Keeping you posted on the continuing drama!

Let's talk football

Those of us in Rider Nation who were beginning to lose heart, had a very strange experience last night.

We got to watch a team be slaughtered last night on the football field and that team wasn't us!

For pete's sake I watched three fumbles in a row and none of them were from the green-and-white! That just doesn't happen. Rocky Butler did an outstanding job - and by that I mean there were actual passes and completions and touch downs going on! It's like the Roughriders went out and learned football all of a sudden.

CTV actually ran with the headline: Roughriders crush Hamilton

Can you believe Roughriders and "crush" were used in the same sentence and we were the ones doing the crushing?

Now having been on more than our fair share of good whoopins I have to say I felt for Hamilton. I felt for the coaches. I felt especially for the fans. Man do I know what it is like to watch your beloved team stumble, fumble and bumble their way from one loss to the next. I hope they can get things figured out soon.

Meanwhile, the green-and-white have won two games in a row now. In Riderville that's a hot streak.

I have to say this whole winning thing is something I could get used to! I'd forgotten how much fun it was. I hope the guys enjoy their well-deserved victory. And I also hope they start to like this whole winning thing as much as the fans do!

Cuz, I know me, personally, I could stand a few more of those winning things. Bring 'em on!

Go Green!

Blessings

Much of what I'm thinking today comes from the book we are studying this fall as a church. It's called Second Guessing God - Hanging On When You Can't See His Plan.

When I heard the title of the book I thought, Oh boy, this book is for you, J.J.

The last year or two of my life have been some of the most intensely painful I've ever endured. I've lost a dream job and all the financial security and personal fulfillment that it brought. I lost a dear friend. A family relationship was badly damaged. My husband developed chronic health issues. And my son began acting out with uncontrolled rages again.

The rug has been pulled out from under me so often I thought after a while I'd just stay on the ground and wallow in my despair. It seemed easier, besides it's much less painful to fall from down here. My heart felt like it was being slowly cut into pieces. Not since my divorce have I faced such seemingly unending personal traumas and conflict.

I've often looked around and wondered, Why, God? Why?

Yet in the midst of my anguish and fury, God has never seemed so eerily silent or so distant to me as he has these last months. I've tried to stumble on, but it's hard when the journey is dark and the road is rough.

It's hard for me to look at all those heart-wrenching experiences and believe that God has a purpose in all that. I've journaled, I've prayed, I've read, I've ranted to friends, family and a therapist. All to no avail.

I haven't conquered any of those traumas. The loss of my job, even though it was only a temporary assignment, still haunts me (and our finances).

The loss of my friend still makes the world a teensy bit lonelier every day. The family relationship is still weird and awkward. Dear hubby's problems cause our family added stress. And our wonderful son and his outbursts have caused me to shed more tears than I care to think about.

There are days when I pray but the words sound hollow even to my ears and instead of feeling like I've got God's ear, I feel like I'm talking to a cold stone statue. So my prayers have become short. And most of my conversations with God consist of praise and worship songs I sing with. Though it's usually accompanied by a short, "I don't really feel like worshipping you, God, but You are worthy of my praise no matter what."

Because even if God never answers another one of my prayerful pleas, even if he never comforts another of my heart wrenching sobs... even if all the days of my life were torturous and miserable, God would still deserve my praise.

I keep taking those awkward, stumbling steps down a dimly lit rocky path. Some days are better than others. Most days, like today, I feel like I'm face down in the sand.

I titled this post blessings for a reason. It might not seem like an applicable title, but you see there times like this in a spiritual desert, in painful journeys of our lives when what is unimportant is stripped away. It doesn't matter. The blessing is what's truly important remains. Our priorities become more focused in a way that is not possible in the good times.

I've never fully understood James 1:2 - 4 like I do now.

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have it's perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Yes, there is purpose here. There is blessing here.

When God speaks

When the book you're reading and your email devotional for the day are both sitting in front of you and they both reference the same Bible verse, I think it's time to take notice. Perhaps a little chime should play too.

James 4:14:

You do not know what will happen tomorrow. For your life is like the morning fog–it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. (New Believer’s Bible)

What is your life? You are mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. (New International Version)

What do you know about tomorrow? How can you be so sure about your life? It is nothing more than mist that appears for only a little while before it disappears. (Contemporary English Version)

Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. (New American Standard)


Perhaps I have spent too much time recently worrying about things that really aren't important. Life is the art of keeping the important things, the important things.

Do you remember 9/11? Who could forget right? It's such an extreme example, yet during that day it was impossible not to have crystal clarity on what was important. I'm sure I wasn't the only one who called members of their family. I probably wasn't the only one who put the regular stresses and worries of the day on hold.

I am guilty of allowing my day to be eaten up by worries of tomorrow - what we shall eat and what we shall wear. It's so easy to get caught up in striving after the things the world tries to tell us are important - money, clothes, cars, boats, bikes, houses, phones, computers, gadgets, etc.

It's all an illusion.

What's truly important in life can't be measure in dollar amounts. I'm slowly learning.

Be vewy, vewy quiet...

Shhhh... we're hunting...

No. Not wascally wabbits. We're house hunting actually. We are officially one week into the hunt. So let's recap:

Sunday: Saw four houses. Hate one. Loved one. Two were so-so. The one we loved already had a deal pending, but it wasn't looking like it was going to go through.

Monday night: Saw two houses. One was fabulous, but out of our range. The other was completely creepy. I don't think any urban dwelling should boast a chopping block in the back yard, but that's just me.

Tuesday 3 p.m.: Received official notice the deal on "the house we loved" had fallen through. Decided to put in a bid. Five other showings of the house are to occur this evening.

Tuesday 5:00 p.m.: Met with realtor and put together offer.

Tuesday 6:00 p.m.: Offer completed.

Tuesday 6:31 p.m.: Began waiting on pins and needles.

Tuesday 6:32 p.m.: Still waiting...

Tuesday 6:35p.m.: On phone with bank to raise limit on our line of credit to accomodate some expected expenses.

Tuesday 6:50 p.m.: My frustration level has reached maximum levels and a small warning sound is starting to throb in my head.

Tuesday 7:35 p.m.: Still on phone with bank and warning sounds are now at critical volume. "Negative net worth" is said over and over.

Tuesday 7:36 p.m.: Hubby is on phone with bank. I'm taking advil.

Tuesday 7:45 p.m.: Bank "reluctantly" agrees to release funds. Hubby and I "reluctantly" agree to meet with them the next day.

Tuesday 9:55 p.m.: Receive official word sellers have rejected our offer and gone with another. The other offer was for the same money but quicker possession date.

Wednesday noon: Cancel appointment with bank so as to spare some innocent bank teller the brunt of my wrath. Yes, we will reschedule when I don't stand the risk of speaking in an uncivil manner.

Wednesday afternoon: Decided not to house hunt anymore!

Wednesday about ten minutes later: Changed mind.

Nothing else happened this week. Which is good. I need a few more days to fully recover from our close brush with home ownership.

Fiction WIP (work in progress) word count: 1368
Non-fiction assignment count: 3 (all due before September 12)

Switching gears

Ok. I know that big experiment for the summer was to see how many rejections I could get. Hmm... that didn't work out too well, since I didn't send out any queries. LOL!

I've been too busy enjoying my downtime.

I've also been struck by the muse - that would be the fiction-writing-muse who rarely, if ever, visits my house anymore. I've got the characters and a basic plot all outlined in my head. So I figured I'll just tie up this here muse and hold it for ransom til every last word is written! Bwa-ha-ha!

Word count so far: 1343.

Yay me!

Transition

I have just spent the better part of four days by myself. No kids. No hubby. Just me kicking around this house. I loved every minute of it.

Now, husband and said kids will be returning from a weekend of camping. (I couldn't go with them, because I had to review some Fringe plays. Darn it, anyway.) My mom should be in the city shortly to spend part of the day shopping. Then she will take kids home with her for two weeks of swimming lessons.

So I got up this morning, bathed and shaved my legs. I dressed in my most comfortable denim skirt. Then I began tidying my house - what I refer to as my Weekly Home Blessing Hour. After my house was thoroughly blessed I did a load of laundry and took out some chicken for supper.

Now sitting here with a cup of tea (and trying not to whine about my miserable cold), I'm relaxing and enjoying my fresh, clean smelling house.

In these few remaining quiet moments, I thought I should blog something.

Something profound.

...

Ok, I'll settle for just blogging something.

Enjoy your Monday holiday!

My 31st post

I know I haven't posted much on here. You might think I have nothing say. Quite the contrary, actually. I have so much to say.

But things happen. Life happens.

And before you know it, the summer is half gone. Hard to believe, but easy to predict.

Writing is already starting to pick up with two assignments handed to me this week. I am also being tapped for several Fringe Festival reviews next week for the SP. How exciting! Been so long since I've been to a play, I think I'm going through withdrawal.

I've started playing around with some fiction and believe it or not I have a story AND a character that I like. At the same time. Even a plot. Conflict, too! If I'm not careful I might just have a story on my hands.

Other musings...
Life is so precious. So fragile. So fleeting. One minute things are fine and the next a bomb goes off (whether real or metaphorical) and the life you knew is suddenly dark and partially in rubble.

Getting through those dark times is no easy task. In my life recovery has two key ingredients - faith and people. Faith gives you hope - in the face of dark odds. And people keep you sane.

Both light the way to a better tomorrow. Happily, God has filled my life with both.

My muse

Once in a while my muse surprises even me. This from today... (sorry, my muse doesn't do punctuation some days).

standing on a slippery rock, jutting out of the ocean. i stand defiantly in the face of the relentless waves and intense wind. the waves have been disturbed from their normal ebb and flow, instead they hurl themselves at the shore with thunderous crashes. the frothing water surrounds me, licking at my feet, like a hungry predator. i have fallen off my perch more times than i can count. my body is bruised and scarred from the tide's tumult and it's latest angry attack.

but i will not be removed from my perch for more than the time it takes to climb back on. though sometimes it may take a lifetime, the process of struggling back upon the rock is the only thing that gives me hope. the promise that i will stand with the storm behind me and the calmed waves offering a gentle bed for the setting sun. it's a picture i keep in my mind for the days of the darkest storms - for the days when i cling to my rock until my fingers ache, my knees and elbows bloody from the surf's constand pounding.

it will be calm again, i know. the sun is still behind those angry clouds, ready to shine it's brilliance like a precious jewel to those who have yearn to see it, and ached to feel it's gentle warmth.

it will be calm again...

Happy Holidays aka Our First Family Holiday

Ever have one of those smile to yourself for no reason kind of moments?

I'm in the middle of two weeks vacation. I've taken time off from my out of home work (is there such a thing as vacationing form in home work, I wonder...) and since I have no articles to work on, it's basically an involuntary vacation on that end.

So my husband and I and our two kids headed for Regina last Wednesday so we could travel with my brother-in-law and mother-in-law toward Lethbridge for a family wedding. Please no one explain to me the difference in time that would have been saved had we simply travelled straight to Lethbridge from here.

After several days of swimming in the pool at Lethbridge Lodge we were off to the mountains. Our kids were psyched. They had never seen the mountains up close and personal before and we planned to spend two days hiking in Banff.

The kids were disappointed our hotel didn't have a pool. I, on the other hand, after several swimming sessions in Lethbridge felt relieved! It did have an outdoor hot tub, however. We could sit and relax in hot bubbling water while revelling in the mountain scenery surrounding us.

Watching our kids faces as we drove toward these mammoth majestic peaks was a special kind of joy. They loved it. I've never heard so many "oh cool!" or "wows" before.

After two days in Canmore, we headed to Calgary to stay with friends. It was such an encouragement to reconnect with old friends. We got to meet their son who was just about to turn two. The kids had a blast together. The older kids (the husbands) had fun playing with their new X-box as well.

The next day we went to Heritage Park in Calgary. We enjoyed walking through their living historical exhibits. Workers wander through the park dressed in period costumes. They had my pity as that day neared almost 30 degrees. I have newfound respect for my ancestors - wearing long skirts and sleeves in blazing heat while warming the house further with cooking and warming water for cleaning.

After a trip on their steam train and their paddle boat we happily hopped back in our air-conditioned car for the trip to Hussar to stay with more friends.

Staying on a farm was quite the treat for Logan. Our friends don't farm themselves, but there is a lot of farming heritage there. They joyfully showed our budding young farmer around.

The next day (Thursday) we drove through rain to Drumheller to tour the Royal Tyrrell Dinosaur Museum. Despite the crowds it was a fascinating. After all that walking we basically fell into the car for the last four hours home.

I got to know my kids so well during this last week. So many aspects of their personality that I never noticed before. It was so wonderful to see.

I also enjoyed the change of pace. The absence of the normal routines of life, bring a rejuvenation I'd forgotten existed. I found myself smiling to myself for no reason frequently. In fact, I think I shall continue to do so from time to time as I remember the laughs, tears, fun and relaxation.

Perhaps I'll post some pictures in the coming weeks.

And we're not done yet. Next Thursday we will drive to Dauphin. Friday we head to Winnipeg for another family wedding. Saturday we return to Dauhpin. The following day we will drive to Saskatoon and possibly to Biggar to meet my mom. The kids are going to my mom for two weeks for swimming lessons. I have a feeling they may need the down time from all the activity!

Til next time...

Coming out of the closet

Hi. My name is Jennifer and I am organizationally challenged. Further, I am the reigning queen of procrastination (watch the crown, eh) and I am highly distractable (who else can play hours of solitaire when you're supposed to be doing laundry or writing or sleeping even...)

Several years ago I realized I needed help. You could hardly walk in my house and to be honest, I had no idea how in the world to keep a house clean and organized. Nor did I have a clue how to cook meals and keep up with the demands of having a husband and kids.

I complained constantly that no one ever helped and the reason my house was such a mess was because no one cared. I pouted and whined until I made everyone - myself included - miserable.

But I found help.

A wonderful lady in North Carolina had started a website and yahoo list called FlyLady. You can visit her website at FlyLady.com.

I have flutter and stumbled and twittered my way along over the years. But only rarely have I have spoken of my deficiency and nor the antidote I found.

FlyLady doesn't tolerate my whining or stinkin' thinkin' as she calls it. She teaches that the most effective way of showing our families how to manage a household is to be an example. She encourages babysteps and not one day life makeovers. Real change takes time and babysteps. Babysteps are principle that can apply in almost every area of life.

I love the system. Even though my inner brat sometimes rebels and things get a little ragged around the edges, for the most part, my house is never more than fifteen minutes worth of messy. My meals are planned, bills paid on time, and usually I can tell you the last time I vacuumed. My dishes are always done and put away and my kitchen sink sparkles almost all the time.

I've discovered through using her system that without an external routine placed on me, I am terrible at establishing my own schedule. I just can't do it. I find myself aimlessly wandering the internet or watching tv or vainly scrubbing a tiny spot of my house while the rest of it falls down in shambles around me.

Slowly I am getting better. I still have yet to master aspects of her system but it's worth the effort. Besides housework done incorrectly still blesses my family (another FlyLady-ism).

And to keep me from getting distracted FlyLady uses a timer. I could write a book on the virtues of timers - especially for distractable kids! God bless timers! For one thing, without them I could never do a load of laundry.

FlyLady also has a wonderful member of her team named Leanne who talks nutrition and food. Leanne's website (savingdinner.com) offers a menu mailer. Each week a new menu is emailed to me with a six complete meals and a shopping list to go with it. I love it. It has forever changed the way I cook and plan meals. No more macaroni and cheese, unless it's a special treat. (how cool is it that my kids think KD is a special occasion? It costs like what? $.50 a box?)

Leanne has menu mailers for all kinds of special diets - including heart healthy or low carb or her latest body clutter (for those who are looking to lose weight). The cost is minimal when compared with how much of my sanity is saved every week. And I never face that dreaded question: What's for supper? without knowing the answer ahead of time. It's like a pop quiz and I've got a cheat sheet in front of me!

Now I look forward to planning meals and cooking each night. I see it as a way to protect my family and bless them.

The best part of FlyLady is the insistence that members love and respect themselves. Fly = Finally Loving Yourself. The best reason to have a clean, tidy home isn't so your neighbours will like you, it's because we deserve it. We deserve to have a house that sparkles because it's our own private retreat - our family's oasis from the world.

I know for some organizing and managing a household can be done with their eyes closed. But not me. I need the encouragement of FlyLady's sage wisdom. And I thank God for her every day.

I just wanted to say how thankful I am that God brought me to FlyLady's website.

Check out FlyLady's and Leanne's websites. You might find something that helps you truly FLY.

Thoughts

I recently came across a statement that made me stop in my tracks. Here it is for all to ponder...

Jesus said to pray for your enemies. He never said you wouldn't have any.

The Afghan mission

Graeme Smith is a reporter with the Globe and Mail. He recently returned from Afghanistan and filed this audio diary. The pictures and his message will make you proud of our soldiers and proud to be Canadian.
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/special/audio/smith4.html

God bless our forces wherever they are serving. They are a credit to our nation and they deserve our undying respect, gratitude and praise.

God bless their mission.
Grant them eyes to see the enemy.
Give them wisdom to discern traps and dangers.
Guide them to those who need help and not shy from the danger.
Bless the troops as they bring healing and protection to those who are vulnerable.
Grant them compassion to show mercy when the opportunity arises.
Let them know how much we all appreciate their courage and devotion to duty.
And above all, God, speed them back home to us safe and sound.

I'll say the same prayer for all those who serve in God's army.

Being enough

I fell into the pit of despair last week.

It's hard not to. For one thing, the weather around here has me seriously contemplating my boat-building skills.

If I wanted to experience rain like Vancouver, well, I'd live in Vancouver.

My kids are so disappointed each morning when they wake up and it's raining again. And no matter how times I tell them it's not my department, they continue to file their weather complaints with me.

Add in normal stress and strain of life and it's easy to see why I found myself at the bottom of despair. Sadly, I didn't have the energy to drag my sorry butt out of it, so I chose to remain there for a while.

Slowly, I feel like I am returning to myself. My optimism even made a cameo appearance this morning.

When you look around our society, it's so easy to feel bad about ourselves. Through music, ads, television, movies, news... our society constantly reminds us that we aren't good enough. We aren't young enough, smart enough, funny enough, savvy enough, pretty enough or thin enough.

Further, we don't have enough of this or enough of that. Our house isn't big enough, or our car isn't cool enough. And on and on...

It's hard to just be thankful and content. We have to tune out so much (not to mention act against the inner man Paul talks about in Romans) in order to find joy and contentment in our present circumstances. Most days it's a struggle.

But isn't it encouraging to know that God thinks we're enough. He loved us enough. In fact, He loved us enough to send His only Son to die a tormented death that we could truly live.

That's enough to give me goosebumps. That the God of the universe, who spoke everything into existence takes a remote interest in me, blows me completely away.

Focusing on that may be the key to finding a small slice of contentment this side of heaven.

Writing Slump

As always happens during the summer months I've hit a writing slump. OI! I hate it. I'd rather be snowed under with barely time to breathe than have nothing to work on.

So I created a new contest for myself.

I've been doing a lot of reading on anxiety disorders (something I've struggled with since childhood). One of the books talks about Embracing the Fear (actually that's the title!) and encourages anxious people to seek out situations that make them nervous - to embrace their fears.

The idea is that anxious people somewhere became uncomfortable with feeling uncomfortable. Being nervous or scared in a situation meant they had to run away and escape. (That pretty much describes me!). To fight this dreaded cycle, the book suggests seeking out feared situations in order to gain more comfort with the unwanted feelings.

So... as I have this major fear of rejection (and it's an occupational hazard when you're a writer), I decided to have fun with this for the summer.

My new goal: over the summer I plan to rack up as many rejection slips as possible. I'll even print them up and post them somewhere. So far I'm up to one. I'll let you know how it's going...

With the first rejection under my belt, I admit, it wasn't nearly as scary now that it's my goal to fail. Kind of takes the sting right out of it!

Should be fun!

Terror arrests in Toronto

I always knew this day would come. Thank God it came BEFORE any innocent lives were lost.

CTV story... click here

CNN story... click here
Under banner reading: Canadian police say they have foiled a major "al Qaeda-inspired" bomb plot against targets in and around Toronto.

Twelve male adults and five youths have been arrested. Along with chemicals for explosive production and other weopons they found 3 tons of ammonia nitrate (a common fertilizer). For comparison the Oklahoma City bombing used 1 ton of the same chemical. This group was preparing to attack targets in Toronto.

God bless our police services all across Canada for being so vigilant.

I'll be be on my knees thanking God an awful lot today...

Update: I'm listening live to a news conference on CKOM.com.

Lessons in the dirt

I've spent the last two evenings in my back yard pulilng weeds and cleaning up.

Here are a few things I've learned:

1. Neglect breeds bad weeds and means more work.
Our yard was neglected last fall and this spring. As a result many of the weeds had formed a green jumbled mess. A few small weeds band together quickly to form a stubborn weedy-bush that can only be ripped out with lots of effort. A small amount of work daily, would have prevented this jungle-tangle disaster.

Spiritual principle: Don't neglect studying God's word. It helps in the picking of a few small weeds, as opposed to a complete back-breaking overhaul to remove a deep-rooted problem. Like everything, creating a simple daily habit keeps things looking fabulous without a lot of work.

2. Weeds spread.
Our neighbours moved out of the rental next door and the owner hasn't been able to find anyone to move in. As a result their once well-mannered yard, puts it's feet up on the table with it's work boots on, while it belches and makes other rude noises. The weeds on their side of the fence have contributed to the problem on our side. It took about 45 minutes just to yank out the large weeds on their side.

Spiritual principle: Our lives affect other lives. And other people's sins affect our lives. In fact, their sin can even breed sow sin in our own lives if we let it. Tending our own garden, by dealing with things before they become a big problem protects those around us.

3. It's hard, yucky messy work, but it's worth it.
I am lucky enough to have a wonderful climbing vine that loves the chain link fence in my back yard. The bad part is I rather it didn't grow where it's growing. But for the most part I let it grow and creep and climb in relative peace. Last fall I neglected to yank out all the little vines. It took at least an hour just to rip out all the dead, dried brittle vines from between the metal links of the fence.

Each snap of a branch catapulted a rain storm of little seeds all over me. It was like being sprinkled with thorns. My hair and clothes were coated and my bare arms quickly became itchy and uncomfortable

But the result? A yard that looks infinitely better than it did. Two flower beds are ready for planting and our downstairs tenant can now get to his parking space in the back without the use of a machete.

Spiritual principle: Working on our own sins and bad habits is hard, uncomfortable work. It isn't easy. In fact it's downright difficult. But the end result is so worth it. I reclaimed a yard I can use to relax and enjoy the great outdoors (and grow a few plants). The difficult work we do in our lives creates a life God can use.

4. Mosquitos eventually become bloodthirsty enough to bite despite the bad taste of incest repellant.
Disturbing the grass and other vegetation in my yard was like flicking a switch on a neon sign reading: all you can eat buffet. I had prepared for this by wearing pants and spraying myself with repellant. But the pesky critters eventually worked through my defenses and found a few tender spots - like my ankle (ouch!).

Spiritual principle: Getting rid of sins and bad habits can stir up resistance from those around us and even from the elements of darkness. Satan would love us to continue with our faith gardens a twisted mess of neglect. So don't be surprised when you hear a faint buzz...

5. Getting rid of weedy problems is much harder alone.
Dear hubby was working tonight so I did much of my work by myself. The work was extra exhausting. Although I love the time for introspection it is much more fun when he's helping. Last Saturday we worked together to pull weeds between the concrete blocks that form our patio. We laughed and helped each other. And whenever a large incest freaked me out, I could count on dear hubby to relocate it.

Spiritual principle: The body of Christ is a powerful team. Too bad we often turn on each other, rather than offering a helping hand. Perhaps we are too scared to get smudged and dirty. Perhaps the creepy crawlies in our own yard scare us too much to venture into another's yard and help. So sad, isn't it? When God's family doesn't operate like a family - but a club steeped in superficiality.

That's all the lessons for today. I've shower and lathered lotion on my poor irritated skin. Tomorrow I get to plant flowers and veggies. I'm so excited to have a real live garden this year. I'm praying God will continue to teach me lessons in the dirt.

Dry Spell

I hate it. I've just come through a dry spell with my writing. Nothing makes a writing want to write more than a few weeks without opportunities to churn out some prose.

Unfortunately, life intervened and several stressful situations ate up all my creativity.

I hate that.

Oh well, life isn't fair, as I've vividly experienced over and over again recently.

So I'm back at it as of today. This post is just to say, that I'm still here. And I'll be posting more frequently (I could never promise regular updates, though! ; )

Musings

Ever had one of those times in your life when it seems like you're on a merry-go-round and the mean big kids have spun it a little too fast and you're scared to move and everything's a blur? And all you really want to do is run home and cry?

Yeah. Me too.

Having one of those times right now, actually.

It's a test. I know. It doesn't make it easy. But then. I suppose it wasn't supposed to be. Otherwise it wouldn't be a test, right?

But life takes off on us once in a while and suddenly you find yourself dizzy and scared.

I am grateful for relationships that I have. Relationships that foster a sense of peace and offer nuturing when I need it. Or a chance to vent when I think no one else will understand. Or just a hug.

I have been blessed this week. While certain things have spun out of control, I have also found myself surrounded by friends who have offered all those things in abundance.

Isn't it neat, how God takes care of us. Even providing his arms through a friend. I'm so grateful for friends!

Home Invasion

Found this while surfing today.

http://www.homeinvasion.org/

Interesting. Might have to locate me a copy....

Another reason

Yesterday a 12-year old girl, who can not be named under the Young Offenders Act, and 23-year old Jeremy Allen Steinke were charged with the killing of her parents in a quiet suburban Medicine Hat home.

I've lived in Medicine Hat. In fact, as recently as February I walked down a path a stone throws from the very house where her parents and younger brother were found dead Sunday afternoon. That this would take place in such a quiet and friendly city (really just a big small town really) is astounding to me.

What I wish, is that it could be astounding to everyone that it should happen ANYWHERE!

But the sad commentary is becoming an all too familiar story. Isolated with feelings of anger and hurt and a bizarre fascination with the macabre she found a home online with fellow vampire freaks of all things. That's where she met her would-be accomplice.

Online.

On the internet.

Still want your kids to have a computer in their room?

How about in the den or basement office where you can't see them or what they are doing or where they are surfing or who they chatting with?

I don't know if this poor Medicine Hat couple had their computer in a central area, but I do know that I am continue to preach the one thing I know about parenting.

Keep in mind I don't know much about parenting. And I know precious little about this Medicine Hat tragedy. But I do know this...

If you want to know where you kids are going online and who they are chatting with then you need to keep the computer in a central area where you can see it! Then they can't surf to porn sites or find a predator posing as a young girl to chat with or discover a hateful circle of friends who will provide security and acceptance for their depraved fantasies without you knowing.

The internet is a wonderful tool. It can connect you with friends and loved ones the world over. But it also has a dark side. Protecting them from it is our job as parents. Be informed. Be involved. Keep the internet out of their rooms.

The consequences of allowing such things might not be so drastic, but let's make it hard for Satan to get to our kids.

I'm done preaching now...

Title

I've taken this week off. Officially. On purpose and everything.

As a freelancer taking time off is tricky. Sometimes you have time off without realizing, as your phone never rings and your email notification remains silent. No editors asking for stuff means you don't work. Which technically could be considered time off, but I don't count it unless I purposely plan to have it off.

I've worked like a dog these last three weeks.

As an aside: Where does that phrase come from anyway? I mean seriously. I've never seen a dog work all that hard. Maybe a police or rescue dog or something. But most dogs I've met yawn and stretch and bark at the mailman from the couch. How hard can they work really?

Anywho...

I've been working like a crazy person with writing deadlines (three just this morning - why do I do this to myself?), work at the centre, meetings and other commitments. During all of this my family took turns getting sick.

Sooo... given my lack of sleep, prolonged mood of tension, stress and general abuse of my brain cells I realized some time last week that it would be very likely that my yearly spring cold would pay me a visit sometime soon.

As a result I arranged to take this week "off".

And right on cue I'm sick.

I woke up this morning with a headache and burning throat. I'm trying hard not to talk and to drink as much warm (and cold) fluids as possible.

Complicating my life is my job as a contractor at the centre. This means taking time off requires me to still check messages from home and return phone calls as needed. But I arranged one day with only one appointment. Other than that, I'm coming home when I'm done to just sit and stare at the walls.

I've even given myself permission to stay in my jammies all day if I so desire.

I already turned down work from one editor and arranged an interview for a coming centre spread for next week.

I'm on holiday. All right. I might be sick, but I"m still on holiday. And the pajamas sound real good. Along with ice cream. Maybe watch some Dr. Phil. Get caught up on my reading.

RIght now I have to go pick up my husband to take him to an appointment. So much for holidays...

Fear Factor

Hello. My name is JJ and I’m a big chicken.

Bawk! Bawk! Bawk!

It’s true. I’ve been a scaredy-cat since I was a kid. Whenever a bug came near me I freaked. And big machinery like a back hoe sent me screaming in terror.

Now I’m a grown up, but little has changed. I might not cover my ears and run at the sight of heavy equipment, but I’m still scared of so many things.

I’m scared of heights or more accurately falling from them.

I’m scared of closed or confined spaces, though not as much as I used to be.

I’m scared of spiders (it’s a phobia so I know it isn’t rational, but that doesn’t help, ok?).

I also have other more complex fears.

I’m scared others won’t like me. I’m not as insecure as I used to be. I’ve accepted that there are those that I will consistently rub the wrong way for whatever reason. Doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with me. That’s just how it is.

I’m scared of making mistakes. That’s the perfectionist in me talking and probably my editors appreciate this quality. (Though, heaven help me, I made two glaring typos in my most recent article in the SP and my red pencil is twitching…)

I’m also afraid of failure.

I put off starting articles because of it. I fear my best writing or articles are behind me. (I can see my husband rolling his eyes now, he’s heard this so often!)

Slowly, though, I have realized that living a life of faith is living a life of risk. I’m not talking about sky-diving without a parachute here. I mean being vulnerable, being open, honest and real with people and taking the risk of getting hurt. I mean taking the chance of not being liked by absolutely everybody and, yes, risking making mistakes.

Growing means making the occasional blunder. And allowing ourselves the grace to fail at times.

Because we know that even if we’ve failed or made a huge mistake, God is always there waiting with outstretched arms. He runs to great us when we think no one cares where we’ve been. His love never fails even when we have. His mercies and goodness start afresh each day.

I don't have to fear being imperfect, because He knows my weaknesses. He knows my sins and the deepest rebellion in my heart and yet He sent His Son to die for me anyway.

So making minor mistakes or even major flubs does not mean we're not worthy anymore. God knows and God comforts like no one else when we run to him.

And we realize His grace is sufficient for us. Even for us chickens.

Current news

Ok. This is belated current news. My latest article hit newspaper stands last Saturday (the 15th). The StarPhoenix ran a feature on Robert Orr and his Christian radio station here in Saskatoon. Unfortunately, they made it subscriber only online. (Sorry).

But if you can track down a back copy of the paper it's on page E5.

I'm currently working on a bunch more for the SP due Monday. It's going to be a very busy week. One could argue that I love being busy. For one thing it would explain why I find myself constantly biting off more than I can chew... and then chewing it.

For another there's a certain rhythm to the life of a contractor. You're only one assignment unemployment, disaster, starvation. While I admit there is no greater source of motivation than constantly living on razor's edge of calamity, I haven't quite adjusted to the ebb and flow of freelancing.

I forget to take advantage of those weeks when life is rather quiet and be grateful for the reprieve. And I forget, sometimes, to be grateful when I'm faced with numerous deadlines, interviews, revisions, rewrites, photos, jpegs, transcripts, research... oh yeah... and writing too!

I'm trying to look at these busy times as a gift. I miss my fulltime job at the SP so much. But slowly, God is changing my heart to see the wonderful blessings he has provided me with every day. For instance, despite being too busy to seek out assignments, I've never had a week without something to work on. (Except the one week when I was on holidays in Alberta - go figure!)

God knows what he's doing - even if it takes me six months to admit it.

Ponderful

I am in the midst of a haze of deadlines and going slowly nutty. The best thing to do would be to send chocolate or coffee... better make it both!

Anywho... I interviewed a gentleman last night for an article and he said something so profound I didn't want to forget it in the aforementioned fog. So here it is for all to ponder:

Life is bittersweet. We just have to make the most of the sweeter moments.

Huh.

Took the zing right out of my pity-party. Darn it anyway...