I think the title of this post would make a good title or subtitle for my life.
Disappointed.
Yet again, dreams and hopes have been dashed to bits. The writing project went to another writer.
So I give up trying to figure out what God wants. I will take the communications assistant job or else stay at the centre.
Either way I'll look like an idiot.
Either I have to tell the centre I'm leaving after I told them I wouldn't (twice).
Or...
I tell this company I don't want the position after I turned down an interview the first round and then insist I really want the job on the second round.
Like seriously... am I schizophrenic?
Why does it seem like I don't know what I want?
I do! I want a job that allows me to write AND provide for my family. Why do those things seem so mutually exclusive all the time? And why, no matter how much experience I gain or how well I do at things, do both of those things seem so elusive?
How do I choose between my dreams of freelancing, which offers flexibility and freedom to be there for my kids, with the stability of a fulltime job, which would mean little freedom to pursue freelancing and other activities, but a higher more stable income?
Is there a right or a wrong answer here?
Why does God seem to open doors in prayer and then slam them shut again?
Is he trying to tell me something or am I just supposed to figure this out on my own? Is he yelling the answer or whispering it? Can I hear it or am I ignoring it?
Why on the same day that I get glowing reviews on my work from several editors, do I also get turned down for a major bit of work that I would have thoroughly enjoyed doing?
Where do I go from here?
Thanks for listening...
Listening to: nothing
Pending assignments: 3
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Saturday's paper
The following announcement is entirely shameless self-promotion. Please be advised the author feels no need to apologize.
This Saturday's StarPhoenix will include the eight-page supplement that I recently wrote on the Saskatoon Police Services.
Just heard back from the editors that it came off the press this morning and everything looks great!
For those who don't live in Toon Town, you can check out the insert online. Every SP supplement is posted online in its entirety - ads included.
Simply visit Canada.com and click on The StarPhoenix from the pull down menu. There is a link on the left side called special features. Click on it and you'll see all the special features from the last year. I also have two articles in the Your Backyard feature... in case you were wondering...
I do believe there is some lag time though. So you might have to wait until early next week to see it online.
For those who live in Saskatoon, please check out the supplement on Saturday. There is some very important information regarding the reorganization of the police service.
Listening to: a heater hum in my ear (I'm at work)
Pending assignments: 2
This Saturday's StarPhoenix will include the eight-page supplement that I recently wrote on the Saskatoon Police Services.
Just heard back from the editors that it came off the press this morning and everything looks great!
For those who don't live in Toon Town, you can check out the insert online. Every SP supplement is posted online in its entirety - ads included.
Simply visit Canada.com and click on The StarPhoenix from the pull down menu. There is a link on the left side called special features. Click on it and you'll see all the special features from the last year. I also have two articles in the Your Backyard feature... in case you were wondering...
I do believe there is some lag time though. So you might have to wait until early next week to see it online.
For those who live in Saskatoon, please check out the supplement on Saturday. There is some very important information regarding the reorganization of the police service.
Listening to: a heater hum in my ear (I'm at work)
Pending assignments: 2
Friday, May 25, 2007
Brain-fried
I'm going to preface everything I'm about to say with the caveat that it's been 11 days since my last day off. So I'm a little brain-fried.
I had just two weeks to complete an eight-page supplement for a client. In five days I produced 5600 words of copy. I have no idea if any of it made any sense towards the end. Some of the articles I wrote, I can't remember writing.
(To check out what I did with my long weekend see the supplement in June 2's StarPhoenix.)
Despite the major assignment, I felt a low ebb in my writing confidence. I just didn't see where God was going with this. How could I make a living at this? After all I've tried before and failed.
With a huge mortgage payment looming, I felt more pressure to find an increased and more stable income.
So in the midst of my writing blur I squeezed in a job interview.
Halfway through the interview, the interviewer gave a me a look, something akin to... what in the world are you doing here?
Which was fairly appropriate since I'd been wondering the same thing since I had walked in the door.
I put on a happy face and finished the interview.
As I left, I felt panicked at the thought of returning to a job with... well... with other people.
I've been self-employed too long!
So just when I thought God had brought this job opportunity my way, I felt like I was so far away from what God wanted.
Just when I think I have it all figured out... things change, right?
So last night I contemplated my situation until far too late. I prayed God would give me a sign that I freelancing was where he wanted me.
I'm a little dense at times (and a little exhausted at the moment!) so I asked him to make the sign fairly big. Neon lights and the whole bit.
Today I got an email from a writer in the city. She'd been approached for a major writing project and had to turn it down. She was going to pass along my name, if that was ok.
The opportunity she passed on was fabulous. Big organization. Juicy assignment. Good money. With a possibility of a one-year contract later.
Woohoo!
Anyone got sunglasses? The neon lights on that sign are seriously hurting my eyes!
Ok.
I get it.
Stay at the centre. Keep freelancing. Trust Him. Walk with Him. Place it all in His hands.
I have no idea if this opportunity will work out. It sounds really positive, though. So I will praise God for this chance and pray He will keep guiding me to the right places at the right time.
And that He will take my name to where it needs to be, so that I can provide for my family. He knew all about the huge mortgage we would have when He gift wrapped the house for my birthday/our anniversary. He's not going to forget a little thing like helping us pay for it!
Now I'm going to go stuff my kids into bed so I can get an early start on this fabulous day off that's coming my way tomorrow! Woohoo!
Listening to: not much
Pending assignments: just 2 for now...
I've been meaning to post something this week, but I struggled with having little of interest to post and having so much I didn't know where to start.
I had just two weeks to complete an eight-page supplement for a client. In five days I produced 5600 words of copy. I have no idea if any of it made any sense towards the end. Some of the articles I wrote, I can't remember writing.
(To check out what I did with my long weekend see the supplement in June 2's StarPhoenix.)
Despite the major assignment, I felt a low ebb in my writing confidence. I just didn't see where God was going with this. How could I make a living at this? After all I've tried before and failed.
With a huge mortgage payment looming, I felt more pressure to find an increased and more stable income.
So in the midst of my writing blur I squeezed in a job interview.
Halfway through the interview, the interviewer gave a me a look, something akin to... what in the world are you doing here?
Which was fairly appropriate since I'd been wondering the same thing since I had walked in the door.
I put on a happy face and finished the interview.
As I left, I felt panicked at the thought of returning to a job with... well... with other people.
I've been self-employed too long!
So just when I thought God had brought this job opportunity my way, I felt like I was so far away from what God wanted.
Just when I think I have it all figured out... things change, right?
So last night I contemplated my situation until far too late. I prayed God would give me a sign that I freelancing was where he wanted me.
I'm a little dense at times (and a little exhausted at the moment!) so I asked him to make the sign fairly big. Neon lights and the whole bit.
Today I got an email from a writer in the city. She'd been approached for a major writing project and had to turn it down. She was going to pass along my name, if that was ok.
The opportunity she passed on was fabulous. Big organization. Juicy assignment. Good money. With a possibility of a one-year contract later.
Woohoo!
Anyone got sunglasses? The neon lights on that sign are seriously hurting my eyes!
Ok.
I get it.
Stay at the centre. Keep freelancing. Trust Him. Walk with Him. Place it all in His hands.
I have no idea if this opportunity will work out. It sounds really positive, though. So I will praise God for this chance and pray He will keep guiding me to the right places at the right time.
And that He will take my name to where it needs to be, so that I can provide for my family. He knew all about the huge mortgage we would have when He gift wrapped the house for my birthday/our anniversary. He's not going to forget a little thing like helping us pay for it!
Now I'm going to go stuff my kids into bed so I can get an early start on this fabulous day off that's coming my way tomorrow! Woohoo!
Listening to: not much
Pending assignments: just 2 for now...
Saturday, May 19, 2007
RIP
The Snowbirds lost another one yesterday. I just wanted to pause and remember Captain Shawn McCaughey. The agility, grace and unmatched skill of McCaughey and his fellow pilots at 15-Wing never ceases to inspire awe in the millions of people that watch them perform each year.May we always remember their dedication and spirit. And may we never forget to honour their sacrifice. Godspeed Captain McCaughey.
They also serve who only stand and wait. -- Winston Churchill
Listening to: Building 429: Iris to Iris
Pending assignments: three less than yesterday. ; )
Thursday, May 17, 2007
The lost art of knocking
This is a post that has been brewing for a while. I get very grumpy at my children's friends for what I call a serious gap in their social skills...
They refuse to knock.
One day (about a year ago) I walked into my kitchen to see a neighbourhood girl, roughly four years old going through my cupboard.
I recognized her, but just barely. I asked what her name was and why she was in my house.
Oh, she replied, I just wanted to come in.
I informed her that we had a couple of rules in my house:
a. You have to knock before coming into my house. This was later amended to: You have to knock AND wait for me to let you into my house before you can enter.
b. Guests are not allowed to root through my cupboards to find food unless I invite them to. This was later amended to include the fridge.
Now, since her brother also exhibited similar behavior in his firsts visit to our house, I simply chalked it up to a single family. Perhaps they just didn't have friends who reinforced simple rules like this.
This year... my children have new friends. Their new friends have demonstrated the exact same lack of courtesy. I walked into the kitchen one to find one of them making juice. I asked what she was doing.
Oh, said she, I got thirsty and wanted some juice.
Now in my childhood, in order for me to help myself to juice from the freezer and a pitcher from the cupboard to make my own juice at a friend's house, I would have to have been near delirium from dehydration. I kid you not.
Maybe I was just raised in a different environment. Perhaps it was just a different time. But I would never have dreamed of entering into a friend's house without permission. Let alone help myself to their food without them knowing.
Now this is not a hunger issue. I know these people. They might not live in a fancy home in Briarwood, but they do have money. And their children are not suffering.
Believe me, if I felt they were in anyway malnourished my good German upbringing would be sending them carepackages home every day. But this is just not the case.
So again... I'm back to trying to figure out what is the big deal about knocking. Today both sets of friends were over and both came in after I explicitly told them to stay outside while the kids packed their suitcases for Grandma's house.
I came out of Logan's room and found them standing there.
What are you doing? I asked (not amused at all).
Oh we just wanted to come in, they said after looking perplexed.
Anway, after explaining to them (yet one more time), that they need to knock before entering and stay outside if I ask them to, I shoed them outside. Both staring at me like I was speaking martian.
Maybe it's just me.
Maybe I'm just a mean old bat.
Oh the shame...! ... the shame! /sarc off
Listening to: same children running through the sprinkler
Pending assignments: I have no idea...
They refuse to knock.
One day (about a year ago) I walked into my kitchen to see a neighbourhood girl, roughly four years old going through my cupboard.
I recognized her, but just barely. I asked what her name was and why she was in my house.
Oh, she replied, I just wanted to come in.
I informed her that we had a couple of rules in my house:
a. You have to knock before coming into my house. This was later amended to: You have to knock AND wait for me to let you into my house before you can enter.
b. Guests are not allowed to root through my cupboards to find food unless I invite them to. This was later amended to include the fridge.
Now, since her brother also exhibited similar behavior in his firsts visit to our house, I simply chalked it up to a single family. Perhaps they just didn't have friends who reinforced simple rules like this.
This year... my children have new friends. Their new friends have demonstrated the exact same lack of courtesy. I walked into the kitchen one to find one of them making juice. I asked what she was doing.
Oh, said she, I got thirsty and wanted some juice.
Now in my childhood, in order for me to help myself to juice from the freezer and a pitcher from the cupboard to make my own juice at a friend's house, I would have to have been near delirium from dehydration. I kid you not.
Maybe I was just raised in a different environment. Perhaps it was just a different time. But I would never have dreamed of entering into a friend's house without permission. Let alone help myself to their food without them knowing.
Now this is not a hunger issue. I know these people. They might not live in a fancy home in Briarwood, but they do have money. And their children are not suffering.
Believe me, if I felt they were in anyway malnourished my good German upbringing would be sending them carepackages home every day. But this is just not the case.
So again... I'm back to trying to figure out what is the big deal about knocking. Today both sets of friends were over and both came in after I explicitly told them to stay outside while the kids packed their suitcases for Grandma's house.
I came out of Logan's room and found them standing there.
What are you doing? I asked (not amused at all).
Oh we just wanted to come in, they said after looking perplexed.
Anway, after explaining to them (yet one more time), that they need to knock before entering and stay outside if I ask them to, I shoed them outside. Both staring at me like I was speaking martian.
Maybe it's just me.
Maybe I'm just a mean old bat.
Oh the shame...! ... the shame! /sarc off
Listening to: same children running through the sprinkler
Pending assignments: I have no idea...
A watched phone...
.... never rings. Same as the pot. Just different.
I hate waiting for the phone to ring.
Nothing shuts up a phone better than willing it to ring.
I stare at it. I pace back and forth in the kitchen. I double check my recording equipment and my notebooks. I get out two pens (in case one stops working while I'm taking notes - it's happened!)
I swear it has a greater likelihood of ringing somedays if you unplug it from the wall, than it does while you are staring at it... yearning to hear it trill.
Then I start the debate...
Should I pick up the phone and call a friend just to make sure it's working?
Of course, if I do and the person calls and gets a busy signal... I look like a rude cow.
But if I don't and there's a problem in my set up... then I'll be sitting here forever watching a phone not ring. Waiting in vain for it's shrill call of victory.
It's even worse when I'm waiting for an interview subject to phone.
I start to wonder if I misunderstood the date or time. Or the instructions. Maybe I was supposed to call them and they are sitting at their end of the phone having this exact conversation with themselves.
ARG!
Listening to: my phone NOT ringing
Pending assignments: I have no idea...
I hate waiting for the phone to ring.
Nothing shuts up a phone better than willing it to ring.
I stare at it. I pace back and forth in the kitchen. I double check my recording equipment and my notebooks. I get out two pens (in case one stops working while I'm taking notes - it's happened!)
I swear it has a greater likelihood of ringing somedays if you unplug it from the wall, than it does while you are staring at it... yearning to hear it trill.
Then I start the debate...
Should I pick up the phone and call a friend just to make sure it's working?
Of course, if I do and the person calls and gets a busy signal... I look like a rude cow.
But if I don't and there's a problem in my set up... then I'll be sitting here forever watching a phone not ring. Waiting in vain for it's shrill call of victory.
It's even worse when I'm waiting for an interview subject to phone.
I start to wonder if I misunderstood the date or time. Or the instructions. Maybe I was supposed to call them and they are sitting at their end of the phone having this exact conversation with themselves.
ARG!
Listening to: my phone NOT ringing
Pending assignments: I have no idea...
Monday, May 14, 2007
Reality Monday
I love Mondays.
For starters, the paper on Mondays qualifies as more of a pamphlet so I can do my whole route in one trip in 30 minutes.
As well, I don't work much on Mondays. I try not to book myself clients at the centre (though it does happen on occasion). And I try not to book myself interviews or writing assignments for Mondays if I can avoid it.
Monday is my chance to catch up on house stuff and just basically... chill.
So I'm sitting here listening to my new Michael Buble CD with a hot cup of tea.
...
Ah...
...
Yup. This is why I love Mondays. Relaxing with Michael's velvety voice and old school jazz.
Beautiful. It is so important to carve out these moments. Savour them. Because these moments provide the fuel for the rest of our lives when we can barely catch our breath.
Listening to: Michael Buble: Call Me Irresponsible
Pending assignments: 12-15
For starters, the paper on Mondays qualifies as more of a pamphlet so I can do my whole route in one trip in 30 minutes.
As well, I don't work much on Mondays. I try not to book myself clients at the centre (though it does happen on occasion). And I try not to book myself interviews or writing assignments for Mondays if I can avoid it.
Monday is my chance to catch up on house stuff and just basically... chill.
So I'm sitting here listening to my new Michael Buble CD with a hot cup of tea.
...
Ah...
...
Yup. This is why I love Mondays. Relaxing with Michael's velvety voice and old school jazz.
Beautiful. It is so important to carve out these moments. Savour them. Because these moments provide the fuel for the rest of our lives when we can barely catch our breath.
Listening to: Michael Buble: Call Me Irresponsible
Pending assignments: 12-15
Friday, May 11, 2007
Possession date
We take possession on our 11th wedding anniversary - July 26.
The date was picked by the sellers. Initially, they had chosen Friday, July 27. In fact, the four of us chatted about how Fridays were a good day to take possession. As we went to write it down, he changed his mind at the last second and said to write down Thursday, July 26 instead.
He didn't really give a reason. Just wanted to give us an extra day, I guess. We shrugged and nodded.
When we got home and told my mom the possession date she said, "What a lovely anniversary present!"
I said, "Oh? Who's anniversary?"
Ha! Because we basically eloped the date isn't exactly burned on brains like it is for most couples.
God is so cool. He worked it out so the house was purchased on my birthday and we take possession on our anniversary. He definitely paid attention to the details on this one!
Listening to: Richard play nintendo and Logan and his friend brush their teeth (they're using a timer so that they do it long enough, too!)
Pending assignments: about a billion!
The date was picked by the sellers. Initially, they had chosen Friday, July 27. In fact, the four of us chatted about how Fridays were a good day to take possession. As we went to write it down, he changed his mind at the last second and said to write down Thursday, July 26 instead.
He didn't really give a reason. Just wanted to give us an extra day, I guess. We shrugged and nodded.
When we got home and told my mom the possession date she said, "What a lovely anniversary present!"
I said, "Oh? Who's anniversary?"
Ha! Because we basically eloped the date isn't exactly burned on brains like it is for most couples.
God is so cool. He worked it out so the house was purchased on my birthday and we take possession on our anniversary. He definitely paid attention to the details on this one!
Listening to: Richard play nintendo and Logan and his friend brush their teeth (they're using a timer so that they do it long enough, too!)
Pending assignments: about a billion!
Woohoo!
Word came down from official-dom this morning... our financing was approved. So all conditions on the sale of the house have been removed.
All we have to do is sign the papers about a week before possession.
So... wow!
Excitement has set in. That house is ours! OURS!
Anyway, just had to share in the joy with everyone.
Listening to: Iris to Iris (Building 429's latest)
Pending assignments: about a billion...
All we have to do is sign the papers about a week before possession.
So... wow!
Excitement has set in. That house is ours! OURS!
Anyway, just had to share in the joy with everyone.
Listening to: Iris to Iris (Building 429's latest)
Pending assignments: about a billion...
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Layout
Because our new place is a Dundee Home, I can show you the layout. Follow these instructions...
For those thinking it: yes, the new home warranty will transfer to us.
And thanks for all the phone calls, emails and kudos. We are so grateful to celebrate with all of you. We're going to be doing a happy dance on Friday when the deal closes.
Listening to: FREE 100.3 FM (I'm at work)
Pending assignments: 2
- Visit Homes by Dundee
- Click on Dundee Homes
- Click on Two-storey
- On the left-hand side click on The Springfield
For those thinking it: yes, the new home warranty will transfer to us.
And thanks for all the phone calls, emails and kudos. We are so grateful to celebrate with all of you. We're going to be doing a happy dance on Friday when the deal closes.
Listening to: FREE 100.3 FM (I'm at work)
Pending assignments: 2
Monday, May 07, 2007
More pics
Above is another view of the kitchen. (The appliance DO NOT stay.) The view from the front door is below...
The upstairs bathroom:
Here are two views of the master bedroom:
There you go! Gotta go get Mik outta the tub.
Here are two views of the master bedroom:
There you go! Gotta go get Mik outta the tub.
Pics!
Ok. Several have been asking for photos. They took down the listing already, so we're scrambling to get some photos for you to see.
Here are some we managed to salvage...
That's the front entrance. This is the kitchen and the dining room below that.
Below is the ensuite. There's a shower behind the door on the left.
That's it for now. I'll try to post more pics later! Enjoy!
Praise God!
For those who haven't yet heard the joyful screaming emanating from various spots in Saskatoon...
We got a house!
We did a private sale with a delightful couple. Yesterday they accepted our offer and today we dropped everything off at the lawyers and our mortgage broker. By the end of the week it should be official barring any unforeseen disasters.
The house is in Confederation Park (Blakeney Crescent). We are on the edge of the city, about a half block from a farmer's field.
Here are the specs:
We got a house!
We did a private sale with a delightful couple. Yesterday they accepted our offer and today we dropped everything off at the lawyers and our mortgage broker. By the end of the week it should be official barring any unforeseen disasters.
The house is in Confederation Park (Blakeney Crescent). We are on the edge of the city, about a half block from a farmer's field.
Here are the specs:
- 1448 square feet
- Victorian-style two storey with veranda
- Massively humongous ensuite with shower off master bedroom
- Walk-in closet
- Island and walk-in pantry in kitchen
- Home was built in 2005
To get to it:
- Drive to the end of 33rd Street and turn left.
- Blakeney Crescent is the first right.
It doesn't feel real. The news is sinking in for us. We feel rather numb.
It is just such a relief.
Listening to: Newsboys!
Pending assignments: 1 (possibly two, I have to phone one of my editors now!)
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Cursed!
I think we are cursed when it comes to getting a house.
Seriously.
Hubby and kids piled into the car this morning to meet our agent at a house just down the street from us. Nice location. House needs a little work, but it looks cozy from the outside.
Outside.
Unfortunately, that's all we ever got to see.
Our agent mixed up the times and sat there and waited for us an hour earlier. He then moved on to other appointments.
He's booked for the rest of the day. Our regular agent is also booked.
Another lost opportunity and we didn't even get inside!
Has anyone else ever in the history of the planet had so much difficulty buying a house?
Sigh...
Not sure what we will do.
I'm so sick of this dangling over our heads. I'm so sick of everything being up in the air. I don't do well with unsettled. And yet here we are with everything unsettled. For a long time.
One more crack at it tomorrow and then I gotta take a breather and think.
I don't think there is much used continuing really. We're dragging our kids and ourselves through disappointment after disappointment. (Kids not so much because we don't tell them when we are making an offer - they just get dragged to house after house after house after house...).
So it will be over soon. Either way.
Seriously.
Hubby and kids piled into the car this morning to meet our agent at a house just down the street from us. Nice location. House needs a little work, but it looks cozy from the outside.
Outside.
Unfortunately, that's all we ever got to see.
Our agent mixed up the times and sat there and waited for us an hour earlier. He then moved on to other appointments.
He's booked for the rest of the day. Our regular agent is also booked.
Another lost opportunity and we didn't even get inside!
Has anyone else ever in the history of the planet had so much difficulty buying a house?
Sigh...
Not sure what we will do.
I'm so sick of this dangling over our heads. I'm so sick of everything being up in the air. I don't do well with unsettled. And yet here we are with everything unsettled. For a long time.
One more crack at it tomorrow and then I gotta take a breather and think.
I don't think there is much used continuing really. We're dragging our kids and ourselves through disappointment after disappointment. (Kids not so much because we don't tell them when we are making an offer - they just get dragged to house after house after house after house...).
So it will be over soon. Either way.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Soundtrack of life
I'm a huge fan of music. It takes incredible restraint on a weekly basis on my part not to have ever-growing stacks of CDs everywhere. Trust me.
Today I pulled out some oldies... Phil Collins (Serious Hits: Live), Take That (British boy band from the 90's - Robbie Williams being the most famous member) and the Earth Tones (a little known Canadian group who operated out of Calgary briefly).
It is then I realized I had grabbed a handful of CDs that I purchased when I was dating Richard.
I was busy celebrating my new found independence and for the first time in a long time I bought what I wanted with my own money. I think I averaged one or two CD's a week!
As I've listened to them a million memories have floated to the surface of my brain...
Driving around in Medicine Hat with Richard so I could practice for my driver's liscense.
Spending afternoons walking through Police Point Park (later decimated by the flood).
Lounging and laughing over specialty coffees at Cafe Mundo. (Starbucks before there was Starbucks).
Richard tossing me headfirst into a high-power sprinkler at a city park at night. It would have hurt if we hadn't been laughing so hard.
Walking, lots of walking, to various dates... to shop, hang out, or go to movies.
Seafood lasagna at BPs (and the flirty waitress!).
There's the time I stole a display shoe from Richard's work to display at my work. Richard and his coworkers never notice, but a customer did. He wanted to buy their shoe from my store. So rather red-faced, I had to explain he needed to go to Forzanis for that one. (I'm sure my District Manager would have been impressed...)
There's another time when we threatened my teenage cousin with a serious beating if he left the house while we were at the movies because he was grounded. We even joked about phoning him every ten minutes.
When we got to the theatre and realized the show we wanted to see was sold out, we grabbed a quick coffee and returned home. Upon return we found him gone! You should have seen his face when he walked in an hour later.
His excuse? He needed to take something to a friend's house, because his friend was grounded and couldn't leave the house. Oh the logic of a teenage mind!
There were trips to Echodale and every museum and art gallery we could find.
Isn't lovely how a group of songs can transport you back in time? It's wonderful.
Listening to: How Deep is Your Love, Take That.
Pending Assignments: 1
Today I pulled out some oldies... Phil Collins (Serious Hits: Live), Take That (British boy band from the 90's - Robbie Williams being the most famous member) and the Earth Tones (a little known Canadian group who operated out of Calgary briefly).
It is then I realized I had grabbed a handful of CDs that I purchased when I was dating Richard.
I was busy celebrating my new found independence and for the first time in a long time I bought what I wanted with my own money. I think I averaged one or two CD's a week!
As I've listened to them a million memories have floated to the surface of my brain...
Driving around in Medicine Hat with Richard so I could practice for my driver's liscense.
Spending afternoons walking through Police Point Park (later decimated by the flood).
Lounging and laughing over specialty coffees at Cafe Mundo. (Starbucks before there was Starbucks).
Richard tossing me headfirst into a high-power sprinkler at a city park at night. It would have hurt if we hadn't been laughing so hard.
Walking, lots of walking, to various dates... to shop, hang out, or go to movies.
Seafood lasagna at BPs (and the flirty waitress!).
There's the time I stole a display shoe from Richard's work to display at my work. Richard and his coworkers never notice, but a customer did. He wanted to buy their shoe from my store. So rather red-faced, I had to explain he needed to go to Forzanis for that one. (I'm sure my District Manager would have been impressed...)
There's another time when we threatened my teenage cousin with a serious beating if he left the house while we were at the movies because he was grounded. We even joked about phoning him every ten minutes.
When we got to the theatre and realized the show we wanted to see was sold out, we grabbed a quick coffee and returned home. Upon return we found him gone! You should have seen his face when he walked in an hour later.
His excuse? He needed to take something to a friend's house, because his friend was grounded and couldn't leave the house. Oh the logic of a teenage mind!
There were trips to Echodale and every museum and art gallery we could find.
Isn't lovely how a group of songs can transport you back in time? It's wonderful.
Listening to: How Deep is Your Love, Take That.
Pending Assignments: 1
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
The morning after
A bubble bath and a good cry can do wonders for a woman's soul.
Last night it did squat.
I came out of the tub just as sad, confused and frustrated as when I went in.
I tried praying, but my words kept being interrupted by sobbing. In truth I had no idea what to pray.
And on today of all days this isn't the headline I wanted to see on the front page of the SP.
It has driven home the point: I don't think we'll be getting a house. I just do not believe it is possible.
I do believe God is trying to tell us something and I think ten months of rejected offers and missed opportunities is enough to finally get it. We're not getting a house.
Please don't email with rah-rah speeches about God having a plan, about no situation being hopeless, about him listening and answering prayers.
God does answer prayers. Just not these ones.
God does help in hopeless situations, just not this one. We've had ten months of hopelessness. If was planning on showing us how we can trust him in hopeless situations, I think he missed the boat last night. This isn't going to be one of those stories of miraculous 11th hour interventions.
God does have a plan. It just doesn't include a house for us.
I don't know why. I don't know if we've done something horrible that makes us uneligible for housing. I don't know why others can do it and we can't.
All I know is someone last night took an offer for less money. They went with an offer with no conditions.
I understand why. The sellers are building a house and have to clear their own conditions or else they lose their new house. And in order to clear their conditions they had to have an unconditional sale.
The thing is... we could have cleared our conditions quicker than we indicated... we just didn't know their circumstances.
So I get it.
It isn't just a stupid, crazy market that went berserk. It isn't just a myriad of strange circumstances that prevent us from having a house.
It's us.
We're just not supposed to have a house right now.
We've taken up the time of four realtors and one mortgage broker. We've basically wasted their time.
Richard and I are going to take the next couple of days to think about our next step. If there is a next step.
Thank you for all the prayers. I am humbled by how many were praying for us through this ordeal. It appears it didn't help. I'm sorry about that.
Listening to: the fish tank
Pending assignments: 1
Last night it did squat.
I came out of the tub just as sad, confused and frustrated as when I went in.
I tried praying, but my words kept being interrupted by sobbing. In truth I had no idea what to pray.
And on today of all days this isn't the headline I wanted to see on the front page of the SP.
It has driven home the point: I don't think we'll be getting a house. I just do not believe it is possible.
I do believe God is trying to tell us something and I think ten months of rejected offers and missed opportunities is enough to finally get it. We're not getting a house.
Please don't email with rah-rah speeches about God having a plan, about no situation being hopeless, about him listening and answering prayers.
God does answer prayers. Just not these ones.
God does help in hopeless situations, just not this one. We've had ten months of hopelessness. If was planning on showing us how we can trust him in hopeless situations, I think he missed the boat last night. This isn't going to be one of those stories of miraculous 11th hour interventions.
God does have a plan. It just doesn't include a house for us.
I don't know why. I don't know if we've done something horrible that makes us uneligible for housing. I don't know why others can do it and we can't.
All I know is someone last night took an offer for less money. They went with an offer with no conditions.
I understand why. The sellers are building a house and have to clear their own conditions or else they lose their new house. And in order to clear their conditions they had to have an unconditional sale.
The thing is... we could have cleared our conditions quicker than we indicated... we just didn't know their circumstances.
So I get it.
It isn't just a stupid, crazy market that went berserk. It isn't just a myriad of strange circumstances that prevent us from having a house.
It's us.
We're just not supposed to have a house right now.
We've taken up the time of four realtors and one mortgage broker. We've basically wasted their time.
Richard and I are going to take the next couple of days to think about our next step. If there is a next step.
Thank you for all the prayers. I am humbled by how many were praying for us through this ordeal. It appears it didn't help. I'm sorry about that.
Listening to: the fish tank
Pending assignments: 1
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
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