Was it worth it?

A year ago last week, hubby and I had just suffered our first house-hunting disappointment. The house was beautiful - exactly what we were looking for in our price range and located right across from a school.

But it was not meant to be. And so began a long, horrible journey through every borough in Toon Town looking for a house that could measure up.

Four realtors later we finally found what we were looking for and closed a private sale in what was a simple discussion around a kitchen table.

As Richard and I have become more settled in our new house, I have often been asked... "Well? Was it worth the big long wait?"

It's a tough question and I'm not really sure how to answer it.

Was this big beautiful house worth the nine months of heart-wrenching disappointment and frustration?

I'd love so much to say, yes! But I can't. Not yet.

I am a product of our society.

I love the end product but not the process. I want the blessings, not the sometimes difficult journey to get them. I want the cure not the long treatment.

I want Insta-Fix. Not Slow-and-Steady.

But it's the journey that makes life so sweet. It's savouring the process of making a bubbling batch of homemade chicken soup that makes it taste so good. You can't get comfort food from a fast-food container!

Have we forgotten the value in those long processes? Those hours of tweaking and adding and stirring are usually just as enjoyable for the cook as the end product of delicious tasting soup.

But we neglect the process. We skip to the end. And we wonder why there is more depression, more anxiety in our society than ever before.

Could it be because we've forgotten the joy in less-than-instant processes? In every day things that take time to be of value?

So back to my question... was the nine-months of scouring the city for a house in the craziest, stupidest market in Canada worth it now that we have our big beautiful house?

It's still yes and no.

I learned a lot through the difficult path. I learned, for example, that patience pays off. I also learned I am not a patient person.

I learned that God answers prayers. I also learned that sometimes He doesn't answer them the way I want Him to. When I want Him to.

But I still look at that journey and wonder why? Why did it take so long? Why couldn't we have gotten into the market before prices rose to ridiculous heights? Why couldn't things have worked out sooner so we didn't have to be mortgaged to the hilt for the rest of lives?

Perhaps the tears of bitter disappointment are still too fresh. Perhaps in time, when the memory of the heartbreak is blurred by the distance of time, perhaps then I can look back and say... of course, it was worth it.

Right now, the bruises of the journey still ache. I'm looking forward to time healing those wounds. I'm looking forward to sorting out the lessons from the frustrations and finding the gems God has placed there.

It will just take time.

Hmm...

Perhaps I've learned a little patience after all.