A new year - no more worry

To revisit Christmas:
We were off to Dauphin for five days and I dare say I feel the tiniest bit guilty for doing absolutely nothing for those five days. It was fabulous, though! The massive amounts of stress I felt before the holidays seemed to be slowly peeled away.

Next we visited my mom and her family for two days in Wilkie. I got to see aunts and uncles and have lunch with my Grandma - a spry lady at the age of 93 with a will of iron. It brought back so many memories to sit at that table and eat sausage with potatoes and noodles. Yum!

We came back to Saskatoon and spent two days shopping. We were looking for shelves for Logan's room. I also bought several bins so we can sort out all his toys into these bins. Hopefully, it will be easier for him to keep his room clean and neat... she says with a rueful laugh...

I got spoiled by my family this year. Richard bought me a new crockpot with matching mini crockpot - both in stainless steel. Mikaela gave me a "spin spa" - a battery powered brush with various attachments to use in the shower to exfoliate and massage. You can even put your favourite shower gel inside the sponge. Logan bought me a foot spa and massager. I shall be very well massaged and relaxed it would seem!

One of my favourite gifts was wrapped in green paper and topped with a huge green bow. Inside were two shirts - a Roughrider sweatshirt and a Roughrider tank top. Woohoo! I'm set for football season.

Another favourite was my hubby's other gift of Alias season one. We spent the week enjoying every suspenseful, action-packed minute.

With the money my mom gave me I bought myself new work out clothes and a strength training book for women. The book is awesome. I started my new workout routine yesterday and my abs and arms feel it today! Oh boy!

Looking forward:
The gift I bought for myself were two books: The Power of a Praying Wife (actually part of a three-in-one book - so it includes the Power of a Praying Parent and the Power of a Praying Woman as well) and the journal to accompany Praying the Names of God. This gift may turn out to be the most important.

I've decided to make prayer and Bible reading more of a priority in 2007. So far I have learned so much. I feel like a new person already.

For starters I've learned I don't need to worry. While that may not seem like much of lesson, for this all-star fretter it's absolutely huge.

I've always felt - specifically in the last two years, especially since I left the SP - that I was supposed to be doing something else. I watched in envy as everyone else's life around me seemed to have such focus and purpose. I watched as those I knew pursued educational goals, family goals, career goals, etc and had them all come true. I was both envious and frustrated. And it fueled this deep-seated restlessness that I should be doing something else somewhere else.

But what?

I didn't know.

My prayers brought little relief, as well. I was so angry and disillusioned with God, I felt He had abandoned me completely. And the loneliness was unlike anything I had felt before.

In the meantime we tried to by a house - but that didn't work out. More pain. More disappointment. Where was God anyway?

Over the holidays I felt like God was saying in that still and quiet voice:

"JJ don't have to do anything else. You don't have to make more money or work at a different job. I have called you to do these two things - write and work at the CPC for now. It's only for a season. All you need to focus on is doing those to the best of your ability and focus on being the best wife and mom you can be. That's your job. I'll take care of the rest."

I feel like a hundred pound weight was lifted off my chest. It's such a relief it's almost hard to explain. It took a long time but I think God finally got through this thick skull of mine!

I've chosen some theme verses for this year:

Don't be afraid. I am with you. Don't tremble with fear. I am your God. I will make you strong, as I protect you with my arm and give you victories. Isaiah 41:10

Where you go, I will watch over you, then later I will bring you back to this land. I won't leave you - I will do all I have promised. Genesis 28:15

God bless you as you prepare for the new adventures of 2007. May God guide you, bless you and make His face to shine upon you and give you His precious peace.

Listening to: blessed silence
Assignments pending: 1