Clearing the rubble

I'm back!

I survived the remainder of the month which included several trips to the doctor and an afternoon spent in the emergency room with my son while he got two stitches in his head.

So far things seem to be returning to a semblance of normal.

Right now we're in the midst of a study on Nehemiah in church. And I have to admit I am really enjoying it.

I got to thinking about rebuilding in my own life and how it can parallel the story of Nehemiah's efforts to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.

Despite all the heartache and the past failures, Nehemiah convinced the people of Jerusalem to give it one final shot. They get organized, they have a plan, they have a fearless wise leader, they're ready to dry their tears and begin the work. In spite of their brokenness they found hope in his words.

I can't imagine how good it must have felt to see the progress as they went.

The first order of business was clearing the rubble. You can't build on top of unsteady crumbled walls, you've got to scrape away the rubble and find a solid, firm place to plant the foundation.

I thought of my own life and my efforts to rebuild... they've kind of started and stopped over the past month.

But it does start with clearing the rubble that I've clinged to...

... the discouraging words I still hear in my head from an old teacher, friend, or relative whose message of was clear: you're not good enough.

... the message of a culture who tells me in every medium possible day in and day out that my value should be measured by how I look and what kinds of toys I own.

... the pain of past failures... the writing career I've never quite succeeded in launching, the novel I'm never brave enough to write, the many failures in understanding and motivating my rather complex, high maintenance son, the educational goals I've never accomplished.

... the perfectionism that robs me of enjoying the NOW and sucks the fun out of everything. Life will never be perfect, I should stop expecting it to be and learn to be ok with "good enough".

Rubble. It's everywhere.

It's easy to feel as overwhelmed as the Jews as they looked at miles of walls and chunks of charred wall that had to be cleared away. They must have looked at their own two hands and thought the task was impossibly huge. Like where's a backhoe when you need it?

But they weren't alone in their task. They had each other and they had a heavenly father cheering them on, too!

It's good to know He's there when we need him. For the big projects and the little stuff.